Ah, Valentines. Though vocalizations and tokens of love are appreciated every day, there is just something magical about the holidays that focus on expressions of love and romance. It is simply wonderful and endearing to have a day that is set aside solely for love. So often we are so busy living the lives we have built that we can forget to sit down and remember why we have these blessings in our life; of how our families first began. They began because two people crash landed into each other in this crazy and uncertain world. It all began with falling in love.
Last evening, after a nice dinner, my husband and I sat down to enjoy the gift our son gave us for the holiday. Jp knocked out -on his own- at 7:30. Praise be. It was like a Valentine’s Day miracle. So we could actually enjoy an entire movie in peace and quiet. I honestly cannot remember the last time I could say that. Thanks, little buddy!
We chose a lighthearted romantic comedy called, The Five Year Engagement. We cracked open a bottle of bubbly and snuggled in to watch. If you haven’t seen the trailers, it is a pretty cute movie about how life just keeps “happening” to this couple thus preventing them from walking down the aisle. Nothing too deep here, folks. Just some laughs and some “awww”‘s. Pretty standard romantic comedy fare.
Maybe it was the champagne, maybe it was the fact that the movie focuses on the premise that she is working toward becoming a Psychology Professor and many of the scenes focus on Social Psychology but I started to feel a bit down about giving up my dreams of becoming a therapist. I am sure that most of it was the alcohol but it didn’t help that Social Psych were my favorite classes and the sociological experiments that they were doing made me remember why I fell in love with the field in the first place. In the film she is rising up the ranks in her department and simply excelling in her profession, being recognized for her achievements, and even wearing these super cute “power suits”.
I used to think that I would be rocking super cute suits. Now I rock Pajamas most days until 2 PM.
I started to feel a tiny bit bitter. Champagne bubbles were lifting away my logical thinking and I felt myself starting to dance in my own pity party. If you ask me any day of any week of any month, I will tell you how much I love being a stay at home mother. I do, I love every minute of it. Yet in that one moment of profound weakness I felt as though I was missing out on something greater. That I should have been her. That I was destined to be out there gaining recognition for my intellectual prowess and not my ability to make an epic potato salad.
Towards the end of the movie Chris turned to me -seemingly out of nowhere- and said, “You know, I feel sorry for people like that. People that put their career before their family. I am just so grateful that we have such a happy and loving family and that is all that matters in this world. Not having the best job. At the end of it all, isn’t that what really matters?”.
God bless that man.
And in that moment I went from being in a self-pitying funk to being grateful for my beautiful life once again. He knows me so well that he could sense that it would make me sad or, at the very least, nostalgic. He knew me well enough to know that I needed an affirmation of my place in our family right then. More important than all of that was that he 100% correct in what he said. Yes, Christopher, at the end of it all, what really matters is how you loved. What you have built in your life. The memories you have made. I don’t think I would be nearly as fulfilled if I spent my life in an office trying to fix everyone else’s problems.
I believe that every woman that gave up their career will probably feel like that at one time or another. Though only us really, truly lucky ones will have a husband that can sense it and make you feel better without even trying at all.
I’m so glad that I am one of the lucky ones.
Photo credit: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/love%20gif
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.