No, I don’t want to join your Mom Cult…and get that Kool-Aid away from me!

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I am a good mom.

Yeah, I said it. I’m going to toot my own horn here for just a moment and go out on a limb and say it here, folks…I think I am a good mom. Am I great mom? Eh, I don’t know about all that. When I think “great mom” I think of the moms on Pinterest that just baked 45 cupcakes from scratch in all of the kid’s favorite flavors (because they know every child’s favorite, of course, they are a great mom), the ones with the homemade Valentine’s Day cards, the ones that have spotless homes and kids in button-ups with perfect Christmas Card photos and sparkles on the toes of their brand new ballet flats.

Okay, I am certainly not that mom. But I think I do okay.

Do I lose my patience?

Um…yep. But when it happens, I beat myself up so how bad can I be?

Do I sing songs?

Every night before bed and sometimes an extra round when I’m not too tired and his pleadings for, “Again”, are cute enough.

Do I snuggle?

Every time he will let me. Thank you, Iphone. πŸ˜‰

Do I kiss the boo-boo’s?

Of course, how else would they get better?

Am I perfect?

A big N-O but I try my best every day to be a mom that he can look up to and a person that is worthy of his love.

I think this need to be the “perfect parent” that is felt by all of us goes against one of the most basic human principles that there is…that we are all human beings and human beings make mistakes. We fall down, we fail, and we certainly don’t always ‘get it right’ the first go-round.

It’s not like children come with manuals and for those of us that are raising atypical children, the area gets even grayer still. The childhood psych manuals go right on out that window. Some days, as parents, it’s not about the love and the hugs, it’s about damage control and walking away and counting to 4 million before you lose your mind.

The counting to 4 million makes you a good parent.

If you think that I am ludicrous, please do me a favor and go and turn on the TV. When one is feeling down in the dumps about the level of parenting that you are partaking in, just go and turn on the ten o’clock news. It’s a bad, bad world out there, people. Being the parent that knows their limit and when to step away before the volcano explodes is doing a better job than what is going on in the world right now as we speak.

Don’t beat yourself up (too much).

We all have bad days, we all wear yoga pants two days in a row when we are in the trenches, we all need a haircut, a pedicure, and a hug, too. Being a good mom means that you love more than you cry. That you smile more than you frown. That you dance more than you sulk.

In my humble opinion, being a good mom is something that cannot be taught or read in a book. It can only be felt in the heart and seen in the eyes of the children that we love so much that it takes our breath away every single day. Being a great mom is something that we can attain to be but not something that we kill ourselves trying to accomplish.

Because when our children are old and grown, they won’t remember the taste of the homemade Snickerdoodle, they will remember the laughter and the jokes you made while you burnt them.

Photo Credit: weknowmemes.com

Childhood Development Musings Parenting Parenting and Childhood Development

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

26 Comments Leave a comment

    • I actually know A LOT of the “cupcake moms”! I live in the heart of the suburbs a street over from a ridiculously highly rated Elementary School. πŸ˜‰ They are everywhere, I tell you! Everywhere! I can’t shake a stick in my front yard without bumping into someone’s “parenting philosophies”. πŸ™‚

      Though that is why I love to blog…I feel like all of the “together moms” really feel like the rest of deep down since I haven’t read a blog yet with a mom discussing why she’s so awesome and has it all together 100% of the time!

  1. Lol, at the risk of sounding like a together mum, I made cupcakes the other day in a moment of feeling undead and they were DISGUSTING! Ha ha, had fun though. Nice to hear someone speak out the positive though and in that spirit Im going to be brave and say I think Im a pretty good mum too. Phewf!

    • It’s not the making of the cupcakes…I make cupcakes (and 5 star meals on occasion) it’s the time and the balance and the skill to “do it all” that makes most of us crazy. πŸ˜‰

      Some days, I ride a super mom high all day long. Then it’s usually followed by the next afternoon my husband being greeted by PJ’s and a ponytail while I throw him Jp all covered in dirt while I rush out the door to go to the grocery because I haven’t had time….lol. πŸ˜‰

      And shout your awesomeness from the rooftops! It’s so easy to get down on ourselves as parents that we have to appreciate the “up” times, too.

  2. My kids sure wont get fat!… Surely that makes me a good mum! Good post. I think secretly my kids love me being the “bad mum”. Well i tell myself that anyway.

  3. I actually disagree with this one. I think the “great” mums are the ones who think they are “good” mums, but they know that they make mistakes and are far from perfect. Yet they still try their hardest to get it right. The mums that you say are “great” – the ones that get it right every single time and somehow manage to do it all – they’re actually the ones that aren’t so great. What are they teaching their children about the world? That you have to be perfect? Mistakes shouldn’t ever be made? I would rather my kids see me fail from time to time and realise it’s not the end of the world, because you can just try again and learn from your mistakes. I want them to know that they are loved for who they are, not because they are perfect.

    • Boo for disagreeing, yay for indirectly saying I am a great mom (because I mess up a lot)! πŸ˜‰

      I agree with you 100%. I think that watching your parents fail teaches you that people are human and that everyone, even your parents, are fallible. I think it’s crucial in emotional development.

      It’s good to be reminded that sometimes failing is what makes us good parents! Thank you!

  4. I have no doubt that you are a good mom. Know why? Cause you love your kid. And in the words of Shinichi Suzuki : “Where love is deep, much can be accomplished.”
    So that mom with all the cupcake flavours can shove it. She’s doing it to make herself look good. Not because the kids give a shit. They’d all eat chocolate and she bloody well knows it.

  5. The great moms are those who know they do their best. That there is no manual to be had on pinterest of anywhere else and that while they secretly suspect those moms with their 45 flavours of cupcakes may have their priorities a little out of place and won’t therefore drink that kool-aid resist the temptation to actually beat them with a stick. The acknowledging of errors made and carrying on in the trenches of what is important instead of a maniacal obsession in all things pinterest makes a great mom. A great Mom knows what matters.

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