If patience is a virtue then just call me Saint Amber of the Iphone…

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Tears.

Day and night it’s the big, salty tears of frustration, anger, aggravation, confusion, sleepiness, and every other emotion in between. Jp cries, oh, and he cries a lot. He cries over the fact that his waffle isn’t hot enough, it’s taking too long to make it, tears because the puppy won’t follow him, the puppy won’t leave him alone, he weeps when he doesn’t want to get in the bath and equally when he doesn’t want to get out.

Jp is like a pregnant lady watching the Notebook…at a funeral.

Tears, tears, tears. It’s just his way and I love him with every fiber of my being but I have to admit that there are days when I just think, “How is humanly possible to cry this much?”. He sobs over the most asinine things imaginable that sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to find out the problem even is and then once I do, I realize that it isn’t even a “fixable” issue at all. He will cry because he wants a toy to move or do a certain thing and that is just not the way the toy is built so, of course, there I am trying to figure out a way to rig it somehow with zip ties and duck tape and that only makes him madder.

Distraction? Please, Jp is smarter than that. He gives me the, “Do I look like someone that this tomfoolery is going to work on?” glare every single time. I have to give him credit for that. He’s highly emotional but he’s no dummy. The only thing that is capable of taking his mind off of whatever crazy pants idea he has gotten into his little toddler head is the Iphone. Oh, what did parents do before the age of technology? And please don’t say sing songs because that never works…it only makes him scream louder.

He’s like a high school girl whose prom date stood her up…for her best friend.

Aren’t I supposed to be waiting for teen-dom before the drama starts? Because every day in my home looks like toddler Days of Our Lives. Like sand through the hourglass…these are the days of our lives…waaaaaaaaaaah! For me, it’s extremely difficult to “punish” or threaten time-out every single time. It’s like nails on a chalk board after a while but in his way (with limited communication skills) it’s his only known method of expressing those negative emotions and how can I take that and make it a “punishable offense”? Besides, if he was in time-out every time that he cried too much I would never see him outside of his room. It’s a maddening exercise in patience and fortitude and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that some days I just throw him an Iphone because I feel like my brain is going to explode and leak out of my ears.

Buddy, I can’t carry you while I vacuum, it was cute when you were tiny but you weigh 37 pounds now! Please stop crying. Here, want Iphone?

Why are you screaming? You asked for the cream of wheat and now you don’t want it? Here, want Iphone?

I’m sorry that the toy doesn’t bend like that…want Iphone?

I have convinced myself -and no one correct me, please- that at least the Iphone is full of ABC Mouse and other learning apps so that it is better than vegetating in front of the television for an hour. But if I am being truly honest, there is only so much that I can take. He’s almost three and it is not as though all of his requests are rational and he literally sounds like an air siren when he’s in the throes of one of the tantrums. Okay, I know you are supposed to keep your cool but have you had someone blow one of those air horns in your face…for twenty solid minutes? Let’s see how quick your vision starts to blur and you think, “Make it stop, make it stop, make it STOP!”.

He’s like a drunk in a bar that was just dumped…who suffers from depression.

Okay, I may be a good mom but I am certainly no saint and I may pay for it later but I can live with that. At least the Iphone won’t give him cavities and that’s (candy, cookies, or cake) the only other thing that works so I’m going with the “lesser of two evils” on this one.

Just call me Saint Amber…bringer of the Iphone and the peace.

Photo Credit:itunes.apple.com

Childhood Development Parenting Parenting and Childhood Development

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

7 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I can totally feel your pain. I have a crier/screamer. He will have phases where it seems to not be that bad but then it starts up again and it all but drives me INSANE. Sometimes our iPad works but then he cries because the APP won’t do whatever he has decided it should do. So frustrating and tiring for all involved.

  2. Ha ha! Jp does that, too. Two things I have learned with it is…

    The 99 cents for the “paid” version is worth him not getting rerouted to the app store (tears) every fifteen minutes.

    If the app still makes him cry…for whatever reason…I erase it. Period. I don’t care what wonderful function I hoped it would serve, it’s gone if he cries more than once or twice. 🙂

    Besides, no matter what I download he still just wants to play Angry Birds Star Wars. It’s his two favorite things combined. 🙂

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