For those of you not hip to the reference in the title, it’s a country song aptly named, Remind Me. I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea but the song couldn’t be more appropriate for today’s post and let’s all remember… I am a Texas girl, y’all! 😉
My husband and I almost never go out. It’s not that we can’t or that we are in some way stuck at home, either. My sister-in-law offers to babysit every so often, it’s just that we have “been to puppet show and we have seen the strings” (points on recognizing the reference there) and going out and doing things as a couple sometimes just doesn’t seem as important as it truly should be. It’s not as though we have a ton of kids and barely see each other. We actually spend quite a bit of quality time together as a couple, we just do it in the comfort of our own home mostly. And we have one of the healthiest and strongest marriages of anyone I know. That’s completely honest, too, as in our group of friends, I hear all of the time that we are the couple that seems like they would never get divorced. Which is a funny compliment, I concur, but one that is of the highest level of kudos from those that are still pre-marriage folk. We talk, we have a great time together doing nothing, and we are truly very happy (most of the time of course, I’m not going to say that we are a Stepford family or anything, but we honestly spend entirely more time happy than we are not).
That being said, we are still “Mamma” and “Dadda” most of the time. Even on an afternoon we can sneak out for some alone time while Jp spends time with “Ya-ya” (which is what he started calling Grandma when he couldn’t say it and now it is stuck like glue). We are a couple, of course…a team, even. But parents. All day every day.
Do I love it? Of course!
Being parents gave us a direction and a purpose in our life that is unparalleled. We aren’t the most ambitious career people on the planet and were kind of floating around before I got pregnant, waiting to see what life and the world would bring us. When the answer was -unexpectedly- our beautiful son, we never looked back. We needed that motivation and the journey has been nothing short of a miracle every single day.
Have you ever met those old married couples whose children have moved out and moved on and they still call each other Mom and Dad? Or couples my age, even, that call each other that outside of their children’s presence? No, thank you. Being parents is wonderful but one day your children will grow up and go to college, maybe even get married, and I don’t want to sit here calling me husband by a title that doesn’t even make sense anymore.
Though it’s so easy to do. Especially if you don’t spend a ton of time outside of your house alone. Even in the times you spend as a couple, at home, you are still surrounded by pleasant reminders of your status as parents. There is this portion that just isn’t the same as when you were still young and out roaming the world, getting into crazy adventures together, and making these unbelievably funny memories. Life changes. Does it change in a wonderful and necessary way? Yes, of course. But having a time to get away and not be the ‘ol Mom and Dad chain is pretty awesome, too.
The other day, with Jp at home with Ya-ya and everything set up at home to cover him no matter what, my husband and I got to go out to SXSW (it’s just an all day music festival that takes up most of the Downtown and surrounding areas). Usually, even on our afternoons out, we never stray too close from home just in case there is an emergency. Though lately, Jp’s behavior has been nothing short of stellar so we felt comfortable enough to venture out a bit.
Oh, what a different experience! I looked at my husband and realized that I hadn’t looked at him like the ‘hottie with a body’ that I fell in love with 5 years ago in far too long. The same man that I bicker with over laundry now was the same man that I used to pine over night after night. I used to wish he would kiss me with every fiber of my being. Now we can be found discussing the semantics of color schemes for the hallway.
It felt so fantastic to see my husband again as a man and not a dad.
I truly love that he is a devoted and wonderful father but it’s easy to forget that isn’t all that he is. He was the man that used to make me blush, that I used to change clothes 22 times to see if I knew he was going to be there, he was the guy I made out with in public (gasp!) long before we were ever ‘Mom and Dad’.
I saw that guy again for the first time in ages. It was such an amazingly overwhelming feeling.
I love my husband all day, every day but sometimes it’s just necessary to get away and be that couple that you once were to make you remember who you used to be when you were still young and crazy. The couple that used to dance and flirt and have these weird inside jokes. The couple that started that family in the first place.
Sometimes the easiest thing to forget was that you were once not parents, but two people that were lucky enough to encounter each other in this great big world, and to remember that when you are old and gray they will still be the ones at your side.
Though all it takes to remember is a gentle reminding.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.