I am officially drained.
Drained of patience, drained of my mind, drained of spirit. Three illnesses in a month with a highly emotional (on a good day) and wildly irrational child with comprehension issues has left me feeling as though I were a man left for dead in the desert.
I’m hanging on by a very thin thread here.
On a normal day tending to Jp’s needs can be…challenging, for lack of a better term. He is difficult to understand at times and the more emotional he becomes about something, the more amplified he becomes thus making it even more complicated to figure out his current discontent. But on the good days he is happy more than he is not and the trials to come up with what he is after are cute and mostly pretty funny. He can be distracted. This is not the case at this point.
The theme of this…flu?…is, “NO!”.
Everything is “No”. “Want wa-wa”, he requests. I get him water. “No”, now he doesn’t want it but if I take it away that is a big no-no, too. It’s like that with everything under the sun. Back forth back forth. I’m dizzy. Get the cheese, put it back, get it again, leave it on the table just in case he wants it again in 14 seconds…smacked to the ground. Dogs eat the cheese. Tears. Nothing can entertain him, nothing can placate him for more than 20 minutes at a clip. Which seems like it wouldn’t be too big of an issue if everyone else in the house wasn’t sick, too, and the days are stretching into weeks of this absolute and complete utter mayhem.
I am thoroughly drained beyond all comprehension.
He’s been running fevers and so he sleeps with me, of course. All night he kicks, coughs, and whimpers and wakes up at least one good time to watch Rio around 4 AM (Rio is the only thing that seems to calm him) so it’s safe to say that the amount of sleep I am getting is tenuous at best. Last night since he didn’t have a fever and seemed as though he was feeling a little bit better and for the sake of my own sanity (who am I lying to?), I tried to put him to bed in his room and after he fell asleep he managed to stay down for about an hour (at least I was able to sweep and do some dishes) before he coughed and woke himself up and back to the air mattress we went. Night 4. And we all know if he is the one keeping me up then it is safe to deduce that he’s not sleeping well, either. Sleep deprived sick toddler + sleep deprived Momma = All H-E-double-hockey-sticks breaks loose.
Oh, make it stop! Make this dreary, horrible cold and flu season end already!
The icing on the cake of mentally stressful madness is that not only can I not take him anywhere feeling like he does for fear of contaminating others as well as my fear of the behavior I will see in the outside world is the fact that he can’t even germ up his own backyard since it has been raining with a vengeance all week long. So it’s muddy, wet, and gross. Ever heard of cabin fever? Try being trapped indoors all week with a toddler that not only is ill but is starting to seem a little crazy, too (Why did you ask for the water if you don’t want it? What do you mean you want a cookie? You’re holding one right now that you won’t eat!). All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, indeed!
And that’s all for today, folks, as I have a mountain of laundry calling my name, the house is a disaster (for me anyway) and I probably only have a few more minutes before Jp decides it’s time to go round #459. Ding ding.
See, told you I’m going a little stir crazy….
Photo Credit: anythingsquirrelsquirrel.com
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.