Making it Facebook Official. Big steps mean great progress….

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I have never had the pleasure of ever making anything ‘Facebook Official’. When I first came to know of the site, all of those years ago, I was already with my now-husband. So when I set up my account I was already “in a relationship” and while I have since switched it to “married”, Facebook didn’t make it official, the great state of Texas did.

How exciting it was knocking out this ‘first’ in such a big and important way.

I have written previously about the fact that I had kept Jpeezy’s developmental issues far away from most of my friends and certainly social networking. Mostly for the reason that I didn’t know what was going on at the time: what it was, what it would be, what the causes were…so how could I answer the inevitable questions that people would ask? How could I tell people things that I didn’t yet know myself ? I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it at the time as I was still processing it in my own cluttered mind. What makes this sad fact even worse was that, before the pathologist sat me down almost a year ago, I was one of those annoyingly oversharing mommies that posted every tiny milestone and each and every seemingly insignificant victory that their child has. His first smile, first step, first word…all of it was posted to Facebook with beautiful photographs and glowing with mommy pride.

Where did that mom go? The answer is that I had crawled into my own head and fear and stayed there.

Though this morning Jp had a personal victory. It was such an ‘Aha!’ moment that the second that I heard it I picked him up, spun him around, and then called my husband to brag. I was utterly and completely over the moon. It was then and there that I decided that my ‘radio silence’ was officially over. I was going to go back to being that proud mom that Jp certainly was due. I am that mom now. I just needed to remember that.

I grabbed my phone and was poised to share with the world, not only a wonderfully fabulous feat for my Jpeezy, but the first time that I ever shared anything that would indicate that he had a disorder in any way, shape, or form. When I opened the app, the very first post that I saw was from a college friend that was pregnant at the same time that I was and our sons are literally weeks apart. It read:

River’s bad dream last night: “I found a treat on the floor and you wouldn’t let me eat it!”

For a split second my resolve faded. I felt the old feelings of inadequacy and the remaining piece of me that was still that insecure parent and started to set the Iphone down. Then, as quickly as the old fear rose up, I remembered that my son had an important milestone that was worth sharing. I picked that phone right back up and posted:

Our Internet has been all jenky since yesterday and someone is coming out to fix it today. Jp woke up and did his usual routine of sitting down at the computer to turn on Micky Mouse. I was making his breakfast when I heard, “mamma!” I ran in. He pointed to the computer and said, “uh-oh, it’s bwoken”.

Yay Jp! What a perfectly formed sentence buddy!

This is who I am. I am a mother that is overflowing with satisfaction and pride over the achievements of my one and only son. I am a mom that loves her child more than anything in this whole wide world. I threw out those pesky milestone charts and perfect child expectations ages ago and it was high time that I stood up and told the world that. I will not hide any longer because the one thing that I do know for certain is that my son is perfect just the way that he is.

I took that last wall down today with such a simple thing as making it Facebook Official. This is me, this is us, and this is our family. You can think about it whatever you will but that won’t change anything. We are happy just the way that we are. We work toward goals with Jp and while they may different than the ones that you are working on with your three year old, I will celebrate each one with him the same as everyone else. He deserves that.
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Childhood Development Parenting

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

35 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. Right in the middle of Starbucks too! What a wonderful, proud mama moment. I’m proud of your son and proud of you too, for giving yourself permission to celebrate your son publicly. You both deserve it!

    • Thank you! You’re comment made ME tear up! It’s harder than it sounds with everyone like, “My kid speaks 3 languages” and “Look at Junior do the Rubix cube at 14 months” on Facebook…or maybe that’s just my dorky AP and overachieving friends. Lol πŸ™‚

  2. They all do things on their own schedule and all deserve the same encouragement and praise. You’re a good mommy, even if you are intermittently fuc….wait can I curse here? I’ll leave it as is. πŸ™‚

  3. Wasn’t sure where to MSG you, but I wanted to let you know I moved my less stress mommy blog I just changed the address a little to lessstressmommy.wordpress.com

    I hope you will come back to visit ☺

    • Thank you so much! It was such a fantastic moment…it just felt so wrong not to share. The old me had personal issues to work through about blame. The new me was like, “Heck yes! My kid is the bomb and I am going to tell the world!”

      Ah, progress. πŸ™‚ Thanks for the follow and for reading, new friend. πŸ™‚

  4. So happy for you. Your little boy will thrive in his own way. And even if you didn’t publicly acknowledge him, I have no doubt you were a lioness inside always in his corner, so regret nothing. All things just take time.

  5. Fantastic! And even a mom myself, I’d much rather read your wall post than crap (literally) about a kid who went poo poo on the potty or had peanut butter for lunch. Some things are worth sharing, others are probably best left to other forums!!

  6. This one brought tears to my eyes… I loathed Facebook when people’s kids (who were younger than BJ) were walking when he was starting to crawl and eating french fries when his aversions wouldn’t get us past stage 2 baby food. But much like you I decided one day that enough was enough…Our kids make their own rulebooks… set their own timelines and dance to the beats of their own drums. Cheers to you!! And congratulations on making it official!!

    • Thank you! And good for you throwing out the charts and books with me! The truth is that he does his own thing and I am just grateful that he is part of my life!

      Perspective is what makes us happy and it’s our choice whether or not we embrace our hand or fear it.

      I wrote a piece for Parents Space that you might like:

      Parents-space.com
      Letting go is love: raising a child with special needs

  7. That is Awesome!!!! Our kids are on a roll, for the first time ever my 20 month old said “mo bah” (more bar) sponanteously a few days ago. Post it and brag about all of JPs accomplishments no matter how “small” bc you and I know they are not small and our friends and family will respond to our children the same way we respond to our kids milestones.

    • Twenty months and he’s using two word sentences?! Oh, he is better than fine! That’s wonderful! I know how worried you were so I am so happy for you. Thank you for keeping me posted!

  8. So exciting for you!! I LOVE hearing my little boy talk – it makes me laugh so often and not even when he is saying funny things! I laugh with pride over how far he has come and because I don’t always realise what he knows how to say and then he’ll just come out with a sentence. Today he told my dad that his(dad’s) hair has “almost runned out” because he got it cut quite short and you can see more of his bald spots!!! If you excitedly share about his progress people will realise it’s a big deal and I’m sure they will be just as excited!!

    • Right? It’s hard to ask for acceptance in others when we struggled so much with ourselves but I think that everyone deserves a chance.

      Hair runned out! That’s so cute! I would laughed until I was purple!

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