I have been reading a ton of posts lately about judgmental parenting from my fellow bloggers. Honestly, in both perspectives. I read posts that are insanely judgmental and I often wonder if they even know how crass it is coming across and -transversely- posts where people feel unjustly judged and can’t believe they were treated in such a manner. I, personally, have been witness to strangers that truly believe that by sharing their tidbits of sage wisdom they are actually being helpful. As though when someone feels compelled to comment that you are actually going to go home and think that maybe you should change what you are doing. No, you are going to think that they are a super jerk that should really mind their own darn business. Because they should. In fact, a long time ago, one of my first posts was titled, Embrace your Mom Crazy but don’t be a Judgmental Judy. The truth of the matter is, we are all judgmental beings. We all think that the things that we are doing with our children are the correct way to go about them. If we didn’t – why would we do them in the first place? I think what we all have to remember is that old adage of “Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes”.
Yes, you may be a mom. That means that you have experience. But we all know that children are like snowflakes and raising each one is an experience unto itself. Just because something worked for you doesn’t mean that it is the be-all-end-all gift to parenting every child on the planet.
There are moms that blast other moms or being on cell phones at the park. How dare they? They should be paying attention to the little bundles they brought into this world, right? They should be watching every little twirl, every jump, every precious hop because one day they will be gone and they will have missed it.
Seriously? Are the people saying this crap actually raising kids? My typical reason for hitting the park is Jp is driving me bonkers at the house and I need to get him to a place where he can run off some energy, stat. Then, when he crashes out for a nap I still have a ridiculous list of things to get done. Things that go on well into the evening hours. So, please, run like the wind, kid.
Show me a mom that doesn’t need ten freakin’ minutes of peace and I’ll show you my Man Eating Venus Flytrap.
When did it become okay to tell people your opinion on parenting? It baffles me. I would never think to do that. I don’t know what happened at home before I saw what I am seeing right now. I have no idea what goes in your home or how you were raised. I have no clue how many times that woman told her son not to hit his sister before she yelled. I can assume -counting the number I have to say things- it was A LOT. Why do other moms roll their eyes and act as though they are saints all of the sudden?
Show me a mom that’s never spazzed out and I’ll show you my stable full of rainbow unicorns.
Some moms are all in a tizzy because other moms are vaccinating their children or giving them food with high fructose corn syrup. It’s poison in their tiny bodies! Haven’t you read the studies about what it can cause and how it can affect them? It’s child abuse, I say!
Show me a mom that doesn’t think she’s right and I’ll show you my pit of fire-breathing dragons.
Before you catch yourself throwing out a, “What you should be doing..” or “When ____ was that age…” unsolicited, just remember how that one feels when you hear it. It doesn’t feel like helping, does it? It feels as though someone can barely contain themselves in telling you how you are doing it wrong.
It is all right, ladies. Do you love your child? Do you want what’s best for them? Are you trying your best?
Then you are doing what you can. Don’t feel bad for taking your eyes off them at the playground. You could stare at them every minute of every day for the next 18 years. That doesn’t make the time go by any slower or make it more precious. You aren’t going to lose their love if you miss a few twirls here and there. Don’t let other people’s ideals of what they think you should be doing wreck how you perceive yourself as a parent.
Because the one thing I have learned in this lifetime is that the people that give out the most advice and are the most judgmental are the ones that are just avoiding looking in the mirror anyway.
Photo Credit: haplesstigger.blogspot.com
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.