Today there was a knock at my door.
I’m not one for answering the door because…
1) I don’t want to buy your products, super pushy salesperson, and while ‘not taking no for an answer’ makes you a fantastic salesmen, it also makes you a monstrous pain in my booty.
2) I already have a religion and I can’t imagine that this tactic actually works yet you keep a’ knockin’ (stereotypical tiny backpack and bicycle helmet and all).
But before I could even run and hide- Jp was at the door window, peeking through, and alerting you to the fact that I was home (or a horrifically negligent parent that leaves a toddler home unattended).
I open the door to find my comically dramatic neighbor (always with the yelling outside of her house…must have been raised somewhere other than the south, bless her heart) and she looked frazzled (as usual).
“Um…hey, I’m ______, and my house was broken into yesterday during the day. I know you don’t work so I was just wondering if you had seen anything.”
I don’t work? This is not the way to gain access to someone’s heart, neighbor lady!
“I’m very sorry, ma’am, but I did not. I actually walked past your house a few times going to and from the park and didn’t notice anything at all.”
She fidgets back and forth a few times.
“Well, I know that you are home all day so I was just hoping that you had seen something.”
Okay, I get it. I’m home. Why does this conversation seem to be getting more and more awkward by the moment?
“No, nothing unusual. I’m very sorry to hear about your house.”
She still isn’t moving. Why is she still here?
“Well, are you sure? I know you are home all day….”
Look lady, this is getting old really quick! I get it, I’m a useless home-staying-laze-about with no job that you apparently think is hanging out in the windows staring at your house like a lunatic but I’m not! Off my stoop already!
*Cue Jp screaming like a loo-loo bird because he wants to come outside, too*
“Oh, I’m sorry to bother you. I just thought since you didn’t work that maybe you might have seen something.”
She finally wanders off.
What the heck, lady? I get that you are distraught with your current situation but how many times are you going to bring my lack of gainful employment into light here? Just because I am home during the day doesn’t mean that I am sitting in my front window with a pair of binoculars trained at your door, alright? Christmas crackers!
This just reinforces why I never answer the door.
Bunch of crazies out there, I tell you. I never told her I was a stay at home mom. So who’s the busybody here? Hmmmmmm…..
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.