I erased my previous post. Mostly as I want to say that everything that I was spewing was utter crap. The second I hit “publish” I was feeling freed of the emotions that drove me to write it. The more time that went by, the more that I realized that I was inexplicably incorrect. It’s not me, it’s not what I stand for, and it certainly isn’t who I am as a mother.
I have no problem admitting when I am wrong.
So this is my formal retraction. Labels are, indeed, evil and my son is perfect just the way that he is. I have no idea what has gotten into me lately…though it is just part of the crazy emotions that come with parenting, I suppose. Or like when you keep telling yourself you want something so when or if it happens you aren’t too disappointed or surprised. But, again, that’s just MY neurosis. If in the future there is a label placed, then I will live with that, but in the meantime, I can’t leave a post up that states that I want one, because I can’t say that I do. It may have it’s merits but it wouldn’t change anything for anyone. Not the insurance companies, not me, and certainly not my son.
It feels better to write this than the last post -that is for certain- and I while I toyed with leaving it up for historic purposes, in the end, I had to take it down because it wasn’t something that I would ever want him to see. Sometimes, my blog is just me processing, and I have processed this and I can’t stand by what I originally said. It was not a piece that I was proud of or would want to be in the world for him to view later on in life if he is ever able to read this.
He is an amazing kid that is making fantastic strides everyday. He doesn’t deserve a neurotic mother even though he does have one.
Though, at least, now I have erased the evidence (and I might have to stop blogging altogether….). 😉
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.