I hear the following statement a million times over. It’s on Facebook, from the mouths of single friends, in articles that I read, and in blogs all over WordPress:
“People who have kids have nothing to talk about but their kids…it’s so BORING.”
Okay, I get it. I do. Before I had a child, I found people talking about their children endlessly to be an annoyance, too. What did I care about whatever this-is-too-cute-for-words nonsense you were pushing? I mean, seriously, unless he or she said some borderline inappropriate thing that a kid has no business knowing -thus telling me that you were raising them incorrectly which I did actually find funny- then I just wasn’t interested. Everyone thinks their kid is cute, hilarious, and a probably half a genius, too. It’s the condition of all parents. And single people could absolutely care freakin’ less.
I know that because I have been there.
But when you do have a child, your perspective on what is “interesting” changes immeasurably. All of the sudden, all of that stuff that you spent hours discussing at cocktail parties seems boring now and relatively inconsequential.
For realz, yo!
I’m not saying that things you do before you get married and have children aren’t important, because they truly are, and the more fun you have when you’re single, the less likely you are to miss it when you settle down later. Live it up, kids, because a night out with your friends will be a dim and distant memory one day when you have children of your own. Good luck finding the time to work out four hours a day when you have a family and responsibilities outside of yourself.
Because, the truth is, while we as parents may seem extraordinarily boring to you…you seem crazy boring to us.
Sounds nuts, right?
“How could I be boring?”, you say, aghast, “I’m the one doing all of the interesting things. Travel, parties, career…I’m fascinating.”
Yeah, this is kind of what we hear honestly…
As parents, while we love to live vicariously through your super fun and interesting stories, in the back of our heads, we kind of feel sorry for you, because (brace yourself) you have no one to talk about BUT yourself. And intermittent stories of random drama from people that we couldn’t possibly keep up with that you met in a bar, at work, or on social media.
Seriously, do you not realize how much you talk about yourself?
It’s constant. How much you weigh, what you eat, where you went, where you’re going, how much you bench, a grade on a test, pictures of your food, of your dog, things you think are funny, things you wish you could do, your hopes, your dreams, your relationships, your happiness, your sadness…
I can’t remember the last time I spoke with a single friend and they didn’t bombard me with ‘self-talk’ for the better part of the entire conversation. I don’t know what to say, since I know the amount that you want to hear about my kids is minimal and my husband, probably less unless it’s juicy, which it never is. So, we sit on the phone while you talk about you, you, you.
And there, my friends, is the true difference. As parents, we know we bore you. We’re completely aware. We used to be single, too, remember? What you don’t know as single people is that you bore us just as much.
Photo Credit: Someecards.com
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.