Hey you! Yes, you. I know that you are doing your best. I know that parenting isn’t a game for the faint of heart or weak of spirit. I know that you sometimes sit up late at night wondering if you are doing the right thing, if you are good enough, or if you are strong enough. We all do. It comes with this crazy-ride-into-the-complete-unknown called parenting.
- It’s okay to be unsure.
- It’s okay to worry.
- It’s okay to be who you are.
- It’s okay to be mediocre sometimes.
- It’s okay to think you’re right.
- It’s okay to doubt yourself.
- It’s okay to cry.
- It’s okay to stress out about things that may or may not happen.
- It’s okay to parent in a way that you see fit.
- It’s okay to make mistakes.
- It’s okay to do your thang.
Look, I know that some of you have several children or older kids and you think you’ve got the business of rearing little ones in the bag. Kudos, to you. I hope I get to a place one day that I can look at parenting and think, “Yeah, I nailed that”. But the truth is, most of us are just muddling through the very best that we can being the best mothers that we can be everyday. We may not get it right every time, we may make mistakes, and you may be shaking your head and thinking, “Amateurs”. That’s cool, we understand. Sometimes we think we’re amateurs, too.
We’re learning. We’re growing. And we become better people and better parents with every mistake.
Don’t you dare judge me!
In my, albeit humble, opinion…it’s only NOT okay to be a person that looks down on other mothers or feels as though whatever you are doing is the right way for everyone. I’m telling you that as someone who has seen every parenting tactic in the book bring about adults in therapy. Seriously, no matter how great a job we think we are doing, we could still end up with the kid on the couch saying, “Well, my mom, she…”. That’s a fact, I promise you.
Relax, take a deep breath and realize that being “right” isn’t always the “right” thing to do. Smile when you see someone struggling. Throw them a, “Been there, momma, it gets better” without telling them what to do. In that moment, all they will hear is that they are doing it wrong and you could hurt their feelings. Don’t we teach our children that it’s wrong to ‘hurt our friends’?
Well, other moms are our friends, right?
No one else can understand where we are or how we are doing than another mom. Sure, she may be different but I bet she potty trains with stickers just like you. I bet she worries just like you. She is the only other person that knows what it’s really like to walk around with her heart outside of her body just like you.
We are all the same though sometimes we take different paths. We all want the same outcome. Children that love us, love themselves, and grow up to be happy and fulfilled adults. And I am certain if you quizzed thirty CEO’s, government officials, and world famous Neurosurgeons you would find that each one was raised very differently.
There are no hard and fast rules in parenting. So let’s not be so hard and fast with our opinions, either.
What you are doing -as long as it’s your best- is great. You’re great. I think that anyone that puts their child first and loves without abandon is doing the best that they can. And we all know that it’s not easy sometimes. Kids can have some pretty horrific traits. Cute as a button? All day, every day. But polite and full of compliments all of the time like little Stepford Children? Yeah, not so much. That’s what makes us all awesome. We love in the face of obnoxiousness on a daily basis. You’re a great mom. Give yourself a hug!
What is it with the freakin’ crust, right?!
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.