Do your thaaaang, mommas!

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Hey you! Yes, you. I know that you are doing your best. I know that parenting isn’t a game for the faint of heart or weak of spirit. I know that you sometimes sit up late at night wondering if you are doing the right thing, if you are good enough, or if you are strong enough. We all do. It comes with this crazy-ride-into-the-complete-unknown called parenting.

  • It’s okay to be unsure.
  • It’s okay to worry. Image
  • It’s okay to be who you are.
  • It’s okay to be mediocre sometimes.
  • It’s okay to think you’re right.
  • It’s okay to doubt yourself.
  • It’s okay to cry.
  • It’s okay to stress out about things that may or may not happen.
  • It’s okay to parent in a way that you see fit.
  • It’s okay to make mistakes.
  • It’s okay to do your thang.

Look, I know that some of you have several children or older kids and you think you’ve got the business of rearing little ones in the bag. Kudos, to you. I hope I get to a place one day that I can look at parenting and think, “Yeah, I nailed that”. But the truth is, most of us are just muddling through the very best that we can being the best mothers that we can be everyday. We may not get it right every time, we may make mistakes, and you may be shaking your head and thinking, “Amateurs”. That’s cool, we understand. Sometimes we think we’re amateurs, too.

We’re learning. We’re growing. And we become better people and better parents with every mistake.

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Don’t you dare judge me!

In my, albeit humble, opinion…it’s only NOT okay to be a person that looks down on other mothers or feels as though whatever you are doing is the right way for everyone. I’m telling you that as someone who has seen every parenting tactic in the book bring about adults in therapy. Seriously, no matter how great a job we think we are doing, we could still end up with the kid on the couch saying, “Well, my mom, she…”. That’s a fact, I promise you.

Relax, take a deep breath and realize that being “right” isn’t always the “right” thing to do. Smile when you see someone struggling. Throw them a, “Been there, momma, it gets better” without telling them what to do. In that moment, all they will hear is that they are doing it wrong and you could hurt their feelings. Don’t we teach our children that it’s wrong to ‘hurt our friends’?

Well, other moms are our friends, right?

No one else can understand where we are or how we are doing than another mom. Sure, she may be different but I bet she potty trains with stickers just like you. I bet she worries just like you. She is the only other person that knows what it’s really like to walk around with her heart outside of her body just like you.

ImageWe are all the same though sometimes we take different paths. We all want the same outcome. Children that love us, love themselves, and grow up to be happy and fulfilled adults. And I am certain if you quizzed thirty CEO’s, government officials, and world famous Neurosurgeons you would find that each one was raised very differently.

There are no hard and fast rules in parenting. So let’s not be so hard and fast with our opinions, either.

What you are doing -as long as it’s your best- is great. You’re great. I think that anyone that puts their child first and loves without abandon is doing the best that they can. And we all know that it’s not easy sometimes. Kids can have some pretty horrific traits. Cute as a button? All day, every day. But polite and full of compliments all of the time like little Stepford Children? Yeah, not so much. That’s what makes us all awesome. We love in the face of obnoxiousness on a daily basis. You’re a great mom. Give yourself a hug!

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What is it with the freakin’ crust, right?!

Photo Credits:

www.tumblr.com

www.tumblr.com

funny-pictures-blog.com

lefunny.net

www.memecenter.com

Parenting

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

39 Comments Leave a comment

  1. As a mum who has a few older and one still a bit small I would never say I have it nailed. If anyone asks me how my gang are doing I comment “at this moment all is good”. Because I know that in a heartbeat all can change. At the moment the “troubles” you face are your own but in my case it could be my kids getting into bother drinking, fighting, police etc. I’m not saying they are but it can happen I would never be so smug as to say it could never. So no I do not think any mother can say they have it nailed. Some days i know it’s hard but hold your little man close and enjoy these days.

      • Well I do think your first is the hardest, so well done on what you’re doing. However now I have older ones I think it can be very difficult. You know your post on slapping JP, well I felt for you because when they are angry as teenagers it can be very difficult, you learn to cope and deal with their moods over the years.

      • Whoa! He got a spanking, I didn’t slap him. πŸ™‚ I’m reserving slapping for the first time he calls me the B word (kidding! Totally kidding!). πŸ˜‰

  2. My apologies that this is so long, but this has been floating around my facebook timeline and your post reminded me of it! (I liked your post better BTW, but same message) πŸ˜‰

    To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.

    To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.

    To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.

    To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.

    To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.

    To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.

    To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You’re a good mom.

    To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.

    To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.

    To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.

    To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

  3. Great post Amber! I try to tell myself all of these things, especially after I’ve yelled at one of the boys for something that probably didn’t deserve a yelling for….or losing my patience with them when they’re asking such a simple question. I TRY so hard to remind myself that I’m human and I’m trying my best, but it’s hard to remember sometimes. Your post is such a good reminder that I’m not the only mom trying not to beat myself up over everything. As for slapping JP when he calls you the B-word…..that is exactly my plan…..that’s what happened to me the one and only time I ever said that to MY mom!!

    • Thanks! And my mom slapped me, too, but I’m pretty sure I did it again. My poor mother! πŸ˜‰

      And no, when I lose my patience, I kick myself when I’m down. It’s hard, especially when (even without labels) your kids have special and interesting “quirks” that make it that much harder! We have to keep chugging along because I think the thing that keeps us going is just knowing that we’re human and we are not alone. πŸ™‚

  4. Love your post! I always admit that I have may plenty of failures when it comes to parenting. But I have learned from them and I think the best thing that comes from it is letting my son know its okay not to be perfect. The important thing is to enjoy life, try your best and learn from your mistakes. Thank you for the great read!

    • We all fail. But the only thing that can make us true failures is if we don’t try!

      Thanks for reading! I wouldn’t even bother writing if no one listened! πŸ™‚

    • In a way, certainly! Parenting is personal, just like being who you are. Being a person that is aware of my flaws and failings makes me a person that acceptance comes easily to. Because I’m not your typical mom that you think of from a hallmark card. I don’t have one stitch of family of my own. But I love and I love big. I feed junk food, Peshaw at bed times, and overall just am more laid back. But I’m a mom and I love it.

      It’s all about embracing who you are and working with it. Not trying to force yourself to be someone that you aren’t. So yeah, for sure!

  5. I love this. Thanks for posting this. I am SO guilty. SO SO guilty of being that mom. I try to stop, especially because I know that others are judging me…but sometimes, Lord, just judgement just COMES. You need to write a rehab post so that sinners like me can get back on the good path of goodness…

    • That’s okay. Recognizing that you do it is the first step. Everyone is trying their best. The way that you parent is certainly different than me but I respect you and the love and purpose you parent with. It’s all about embracing our differences and seeing its what makes us unique. πŸ™‚

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