Superman could fly but let’s remember that he was also a bumbling Clark Kent, ladies…

ImageOh, poor Clark Kent. What a dork, right? He’s a fumbling, bumbling news reporter that never gets the girl solely because she is in love with his hotter, better alter ego, Superman. He means well, he truly does, but people just couldn’t give two shakes about him until he sheds those nerdy glasses in the phone booth and emerges as his ‘super-self’, the Man of Steel, the one and only Superman.

Bear with me people, this analogy is going somewhere, I promise.

Being a parent is a lot like being Superman. There is something great inside of all of us that makes us a Supermom or Superdad. Maybe most of the time we are just bombarding around, knocking everything over, falling down, and getting yelled at just like the good ‘ol Clark Kent but then we step into our handy dandy metaphoric phone booth and….

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Ta-Dah! Here I come to wipe your noooooose!

Supermom to the rescue! Take me, for instance, I can be a totally selfish mom. I am not just being self-deprecating, either, I really can be selfish. I don’t intend to be, and I wish at times that I was not, but it is just a simple fact. Not all of the time, of course, but I do have my self-servingย  moments. Selfishly, I cannot sit down and watch 14 Mickey Mouse Clubhouse -or whatever asinine cartoon he is into in the moment- with him. One or two, maybe, but my brain starts to leak out of my ears and, before I even realize that I have done it, I’m playing with my Iphone or suddenly my laptop is out. Where did this come from?!

I let him watch cartoons or play ABC Mouse when I have something that I want to do. Not just something that I have to do for the betterment of the family like cleaning, laundry, or cooking, but something that I want to do like blog or wash my hair or talk on the phone. I’m like, “Here Disney, babysit for me for a hot minute so I can do what I want for a little bit.” It’s true. Selfishly, I will throw him an Iphone rather than deal with a tantrum solely because I don’t want to hear the yelling. Can I handle the screamimg? Of course, but why would I if I don’t have to?

I’m not saying that this is the worst trait that there is in this world, but it is something that I find myself feeling a little guilt over from time to time. I worry that maybe that time would be better spent working on a craft project with him or focusing on improving his language skills. How dare I ignore my child that has special needs to do things that make me alone happy? Mom guilt is a helluva drug, right?

Then I stop, take a deep breath, and I remember something that is incredibly important. Something many moms just like me tend to overlook.

That taking that time for myself isn’t an egregious crime. Because, while it could perhaps be spent elsewhere, what it truly does is gear me up for something that is even more crucial to my parenting. I need to reserve my strength and stamina for my real superpower: being the most patient mom ever. I am not saying that I never, ever lose my patience, because that would be an out-and-out lie (and you know that is not me), but it is pretty rare considering some of the wildly overemotional responses that Jp has to even the most rudimentary parts of daily life. I am patient in the face of having to say the same things 457 times until the sound of my own voice is like nails on a chalkboard, patient during even the most intense tantrums over seemingly everything imaginable from eating to bathing, I am patient with the fact that Jp cannot fall asleep without holding my hand in a pitch black room -sometimes for as long as an hour- every single night, I am patient with making 9 meals a day that he doesn’t eat and that he actually requested by name.

My super power is that I am very nearly unflappable in cases where grown men would crumble into tears and beg for their own mommies.

ImageJp threw a tantrum the other day in the mall and I picked him up, kicking (me) and screaming like a lunatic, and walked him to the family bathroom and we counted until he’d gotten it together. This kind of tantrum is not my first rodeo.Then we went back out, instead of fleeing to the car like a lightening bolt, and we tried the activity again. I didn’t even break a sweat or look around to see if anyone was looking. I didn’t become embarrassed to have the only child in sight that doesn’t understand that he has to wait his turn. I was calm, superhumanly cool, and utterly collected.

Because, you see, where I may not be a super crafting Pinterest momma or the singing-songs-all-day mom, I am a mom that can bathe a child with one hand -while holding him with the other- that is screaming like a banshee lost in the wild, I can figure out the intricate puzzles of what Jp is trying to say (with many times of trial and error), I am the parent that flies without a parenting manual chute raising an atypical wonder and learns the tricks as she goes yet still manages to do it with a smile on my face every single day.

That is my super power and, I have to say, I will more than willing to take it. I need to take those silly, selfish moments for myself to have all of that mind-boggling patience in the bank for the harder times. I need a full tank to be able to have the astounding amounts of zen that I do on a daily basis.

We all have our faults as parents, just like the bumbling Clark Kent, but we all posses a wonderful superpower, too, that makes us great moms. And that makes it okay to be flawed.

So, what’s yours?

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Photo Credit:

www.tumblr.com

crazyyetwise.com

www.awbers.com

www.childserve.org

Parenting

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

36 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Oh I LOVE this!!! Ya know, it is no wonder JP got you for a mom…because he knew you were so patient. And that is a super power I do not have:( I work so hard at being patient, but it only lasts maybe two weeks and then I forget and I have to keep reminding myself. Oh, how I was I was patient like you. My superpower? I would have to say……I’m very, very attuned to my kids’ and their fears. I know that sounds funny. But, I can sense the second they are feeling afraid or scared or nervous and about what too. It’s hard to explain…maybe I”ll write about it sometime. Such a good question!!! I can’t wait to hear what others say….

    • Okay, I was NOT patient before him, about that I have to be honest. And around 12 months, when the tantrums started (not that he was ever an “easy” baby) I was cluster-effed A LOT. I had no idea how to handle it.

      Now?

      I’m a zen master. I don’t think he GOT me, I think he TAUGHT me. And it’s certainly my strength that I hold onto. I think lesser men would have crumbled! LOL. That’s a cool superpower! I wish I had it! If I could sense when he was stressed maybe the tantrums wouldn’t be so bad lol. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. i always feel guilty about not doing enough with my gang especially my youngest. I think my super power is the fact i can diffuse situations which when it gets to teen years is a good thing. I also have the ability to never react. So when my kids tell me something I can remain impassive, so they continue to talk. I think you are a great and very normal mother, and definitely not a mediocre blogger!

    • Oooooh, that’s a great one! I want to be that mom so bad. I could never tell my mom anything because she would freak out so I want to be a mom that Jp can come to. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Years of practice. I have it down to a fine art now.I have to admit though, that inside I am freaking! I’d say you’ll be well able for anything when the time comes.

    • Since I repress emotion like it’s my job (lol that’s what happens when you can’t talk to your mom about anything) I think I may be okay!

      And thanks for saying that I’m not a mediocre blogger! I still feel like it. I only officially started calling myself a “blogger” a few months ago! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Definitely a blogger. It is moms like you I was referring to in my post today. You have left a big impression on me in what and how you write.

  3. Outstanding post. I think that my super power is the ability to let go. I’m willing to let my kids try things and to fail. I didn’t learn that much from other people, except when my cousin got his girl friend pregnant at 17 – boy did I believe in condoms after that. I think that too many parents are hovering over their kids ready to protect them from the slightest things. Let them climb on things and fall, let them get mad at their friends and then learn how to make things better. They know where to come if they need help.

    • That’s a great one! I couldn’t agree more, honestly. I always let Jp fall…mostly because telling him does NO good at all! Lol. But I agree, giving children the ability to learn for themselves is a great thing to be able to do! Kudos!

  4. I am not patient either. In fact, that is one of my BIGGEST challenges as a mother. I have moments where I’m patient, but I tend to always be working on that one. I don’t know what my super power is. I guess one thing I am really good at is admitting when I am wrong and apologizing to my kids when I screw up. And, making them feel loved. I tell them, and am super affectionate. So, I know they will never doubt it when I do lose my patience. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • That’s amazing! It’s the best one, really, to be super affectionate. Then they will learn to grow in love. It really doesn’t get any better than that…even if you are running a little shy in the patience department. No matter what, they will always know that you love them, right?

  5. Love this so so much and I really wanted to do a similar post, you definitely said it so much better than I ever could’ve. Props to those moms that have activities planned everyday but props to us too! We need to be selfish. Your superpower is awesome. I’m not sure what mine is, possibly my patience.

    • Oh, I’ve read your blog and I am sure you would have done it equal or better justice! Yeah, me…plan? No way, no how. I’m a spontaneous soul but I think that’s good for kids like Jp because you KNOW how attached they get to schedules and I just never gave him that option! He goes with the flow which is awesome. Anytime I have ever attempted one and things didn’t fall into place, he’d throw a tantrum. So now, no schedules for me! He’s got to learn to roll with it!

      Being an ASD mom, I’m sure patience is DEFINITELY your superpower! Lol ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Great post, as usual! Most days, I’m just trying to make it to appointments on time…which is a superpower if you’re me and have never been on time in your life! But, really, I’d say my superpower is being able to translate medical jargon (about Jax’s hospital time and current therapies, etc) in a way so that everyone else can understand. Breaking down the complicated stuff into bite-sized pieces helps me to better process it, too.

  7. I hate to say it but I am not sure what my super power is. Maybe it is multi tasking. or maybe it is that even though we are on an extremely tight budget, Christmas and birthdays is never less than amazing for my kids. Sadly, I am more aware of my insecurities about being a mom than I am of my superpowers. But I will ask Liam when he comes home from the park and ask him what he thinks I am great at. Quinnie and AvaRose love and adore me still because they are very young and I am super at everything. Liam being a tween will be hyper critical.. That is his super power lol

    • What? Those are great superpowers! Being able to “ball on a budget” is a serious one! That is the bomb! And multitasking is imperative and lots of moms can’t do it so that definitely counts in my book!

      Tween superpower is my favorite though! They are a special breed, right?

      • oh yes they are. and I asked him what my super power was and he said that he didn’t know. Right now if I could shoot a fireworks display out of my ass, he would be unimpressed

      • I remember that time well. I thought my mom was old and out of touch.

        She had me at 20!

        I had my son at 28 so he’s bound to want to put me in a home by junior high! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. I love this post! I iPhone and kindle a bit much too. I try and smile all the time as my power, be the attitude you want to see…. right…. Right now I’m trying to be a multitasking mom trying to pay for gymnastic lessons by reaching out to other blogging moms to see if they would be interested in joining Melaleuca – it is a very reputable Wellness company that is like Whole Foods quality at Target prices with Amazon ease. I am a REAL person I promise (check me out) and I hope you will e-mail me for more info.

  9. You are one awesome, mama, Amber! I think JP is so lucky to have you! I haven’t quite figured out my superpower yet – other than stick my boob in her face to quiet her down and any mommy who is able to nurse can do that one. I’ll have to get back to you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Though, I’ve been guilty about handing her my iPhone to teeth on when I need a moment of peace and nothing else works.

    • Um…see? Another momma seeking herself short! I COULDN’T nurse! So there is a superpower that this momma didn’t possess! See? We all have one whether we know it or not!

      And thank you! I don’t know about lucky but I hope I do him proud one day!

  10. I am deeply impressed by the Patience superpower. Saying the same thing a zillion times — and still getting no response — drives me nuts. My superpower might be a total commitment to growth, as in, “this doesn’t work AT ALL, so how do I need to look at this differently? How do I need to change my behaviour?” It can take a while to be willing to see reality and it can be painful to face my part in things and it can be a real nuisance to have to change, but I will do it.

    • That’s a great one! Adaptability is crucial! Also seeing that you have a hand in changing things around you is very wise, indeed.

      Wonderful powers, I must say! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

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