I am feeling a little introspective today, so please, bear with me if you will…
It is my personal belief that truly being happy is a choice that we have to make every single day. There will always be dreams that are left unfulfilled, perfect expectations that are not quite met, and moments where we feel as though the entire world must certainly be against us. That is all a part of the big and beautiful gift that is bestowed upon us called life. And while not necessarily the best part or one that we relish in enduring, it is all a vital part of the process.
The hard times mold us, they shape us, and they make us stronger and better prepared people.
While in the moment, it is difficult to see the forest for the trees when the world feels as though it is crumbling down around you, there is always something to be gained from every seemingly insurmountable hardship. A life lesson, character, growth of spirit and purpose, or just a test to show you how much strength you truly posses when strength is your only option. There is an exquisite beauty in living through pain. You have to just be willing to understand that and embrace it.
I am going to share with you a few of my “covenants” that I choose to live my life by. Please, do not mistake this for me claiming to be a perfect person or a soul that is without sadness. We all have emotions, it is what makes us human, but this is my personal view on life and it has always served me well. And for that reason, I would be remiss in not sharing them with all of you.
- The past is in the past and only allow it to make you smile. Most of us did not grow up with picture perfect childhoods. Sometimes our memories are painful and cause us great sadness well into adulthood. Absolutely do not allow it to. Don’t dwell on that or allow it to be something that you feel self pity for. You can’t change it, you can’t fix it, and living in it will cause you to never fully appreciate the present. Let go and move in only one direction: forward. If you make your present about your past you can never truly be happy. I know that one of the main ideals of therapy is that you relive it to heal from it but I do not believe that. The healing will come from knowing that it may have shaped who you were but it isn’t who you are now. Rise above it and move on. A life lived in the past is a life unlived.
- You chose this life…so live in it with a smile. Some things can happen without our choice and certainly without our permission. Be it fate or chance or divine intervention from a higher power (see number 3). Though most of the things in your life are a choice that you at one time made. Your job, your partner, your home. You wanted them there and probably fought very hard for them. Now you have to appreciate them and find the beauty that is there. Do not let yourself become fixated on what your life isn’t, instead, see the good in everything around you. Life and love will never be without faults but the key to being happy is not letting the faults rule you or affect your attitude towards others or yourself. The more you seek out and live in the positive, the more driven you will be to improve things with love and not out of frustration or discontent.
- Life will always be unfair at times. And sometimes it even sucks. But things will always happen and being able to rise above is what makes us better people. It is not the end of the world, though it can feel that way in the heat of the moment, it is simply a door to a new beginning. Mourn a loss, grieve a change, but know deep in your heart that the things that happen in this life cannot break you unless you allow them to. Let your heart feel but never overcome you. Happiness cannot be found where there is none and there can be none when you feel slighted.
- A day is just one day in the span of your lifetime. A bad day is only that. One single day in sea of days that will make up your entire life. Do not let yourself become too focused on the contents of a mere 24 hours. The sun will set and rise again tomorrow and that is a chance to start fresh all over again. To get through the night, may I suggest wine? They say alcohol does not solve your problems…it only makes you forget about them for awhile. Perfect.
- Be a person that you would want to spend time with and people will want to spend time with you. Are you negative, melancholy, or generally pessimistic? Would you want to spend your time with someone that was? Ask yourself, honestly, if you would enjoy being around the person that you are right this minute. And, if that answer is no, do everything in your power to change that. While we are who we are in this world, we can always find it within ourselves to be better people. Be the person that you want to be; the person you were meant to be before you allowed feelings of resentment to set in. Self-improvement can bring you feelings of purpose and people with purpose always have a wonderful sense of self.
- Do not beat yourself up for being you. You are a great person. You are completely worth it. You are truly amazing. Everyone falls, everyone fails, and we all make mistakes. Do not let your failures define you or be how you perceive yourself.
- You are beautiful in your own way
- You are smart in your own way
- You are talented in your own way
- You are capable
- You are worth it
- You are blessed
Believe in yourself and love your life. If you don’t, know that the hardships that you have endured that seemed like the end of it all at one time, have made you strong enough to change it and to persevere. Love yourself, love others, and know that being you is a gift.
So don’t waste it being miserable.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.