Let your tears be something that fuels you. Not something that cripples you….

ImageI subscribe to a preemie newsletter for older children. This is the same group that coined the phrase “preemie syndrome” and keeps their finger on the pulse of all new developments (including the DSM-V revisions MONTHS before I read about them anywhere else INCLUDING Psychology Today) relating to the issues that preemies face after the toddler years.

I read one tonight -in first person- about the challenges that adults with Specific Language Impairment (our best case scenario diagnosis outside of the miracle of the metaphoric “light” clicking on in the right hemisphere of Jp’s brain) face.

The stories and antidotes were so shocking and so frightening to think of your child having to endure…I just broke down completely for the better part of an hour.

I cried and cried until my ribs ached. Until there was just absolutely nothing left in me. It is so effing unfair to look at an innocent child and think that this was the best life has to offer them when they did nothing wrong to deserve it. To read the words on that page where the emotion was tangible with cognitive struggle and how they were left feeling isolated, left behind, and tossed aside…and to think that your child will have to face that future so bleakly portrayed…

Heartbreaking. There truly are no words to describe it properly and do it any justice.

Then, when I was done with the self-pity party, I picked myself up from the computer chair, and I felt a fire in my heart stronger than the heat of a thousand suns. There is nothing certain in this world. Except one thing. That I will do every single solitary thing in my power to make my son not have to EVER write something like that for moms like me. He will be the one that has the most support, the most love, the most everything that will ever aide him in succeeding in whatever it is that he chooses to do in his life.

I had to have that cry to allow myself to see that the only weakness that there is…is believing that one person’s truth is destined to be another child’s fate.

Photo Credit:




Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

17 Comments Leave a comment

  1. You are right. No one knows their future. It is natural to feel grief for your son, and what he will potentially face. I have no doubt whatever message he will give in the future it will include a big thank you to his parents. You are doing a great job and having to learn so much as you go. I always say to myself when a worry overwhelms me, to keep my mountains small. Then I can climb them. One step at a time. Best wishes I can see you have come out fighting from this one!

  2. I remember crying silently in the middle of the night walking around the house, so as not to disturb anyone. This was the night after my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of seven. I had gone to the bookstore and bought a very clinical book on autism and spent half the night reading it before disolving into tears. The book painted a bleak picture of Will’s future. Yet here we are, Will has a good job, he is living on his own, and it is not hopeless. But I was an advocate for my children, a tiger mother, a she-bear. This will be a long journey and sometimes you will suffer dismay, despair, etc. But you will also experience joy, pride in your child, and success.

    • Wow! This is so ironic! I just read your last post and its one of the first that I have read. I actually thought, her kids went to college and have great jobs! How inspiring!! 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

  3. ‘believing that one person’s truth is destined to be another child’s fate’

    When people throw around statistics, it is important to remember that they are talking about ‘averages’ and that in any distribution of results there are ‘outliers’

    You know your son is is not ‘average’. He is an outlier. He is special. Whatever the average outcome may be of children similar to him – need not apply to him

    I am a great believer in the power of positive thought to shape events. I have only had a cursory read through your blog but already it is apparent that you and your husband share a deep love and a strength of character that will ensure your son has a happy and fulfilling life – just keep thinking positive !

    • Oh, we do! He’s such a bright and loving child that I have no doubt that he will succeed. He is special. He has weaknesses but he has amazing strengths, too, and that helps me sleep better at night. 🙂

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

  4. Crying is important but don’t ever take what’s out there and believe this is i for you and JP. Always pick yourself up because your implication in his life and you believing in your son will help him reach his full potential. Things will continue to change over the years, studies will show different results… I have a talking/walking child who was supposed to be non-verbal and in a wheelchair… Life is full of surprises when we believe and push them to be the best they can be! Wishing you all the best in the years to come!

  5. I’m so happy to have read this post. BJ had an MRI last week that showed an abnormality probably caused by being on oxygen his first few months of life. While waiting for more info I straddled the line between hysterical and depressed. But like the first person said I’ll break each mountain down no matter how small and so will you. You’re an amazing mom and your love and support will provide him with what he needs to develop and become an amazing young man.

  6. I’m torn between wanting to know how to find this newsletter, and staying the heck away from it. What I already have heard about speech and communication delays is enough to keep me up at night now.

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