I subscribe to a preemie newsletter for older children. This is the same group that coined the phrase “preemie syndrome” and keeps their finger on the pulse of all new developments (including the DSM-V revisions MONTHS before I read about them anywhere else INCLUDING Psychology Today) relating to the issues that preemies face after the toddler years.
I read one tonight -in first person- about the challenges that adults with Specific Language Impairment (our best case scenario diagnosis outside of the miracle of the metaphoric “light” clicking on in the right hemisphere of Jp’s brain) face.
The stories and antidotes were so shocking and so frightening to think of your child having to endure…I just broke down completely for the better part of an hour.
I cried and cried until my ribs ached. Until there was just absolutely nothing left in me. It is so effing unfair to look at an innocent child and think that this was the best life has to offer them when they did nothing wrong to deserve it. To read the words on that page where the emotion was tangible with cognitive struggle and how they were left feeling isolated, left behind, and tossed aside…and to think that your child will have to face that future so bleakly portrayed…
Heartbreaking. There truly are no words to describe it properly and do it any justice.
Then, when I was done with the self-pity party, I picked myself up from the computer chair, and I felt a fire in my heart stronger than the heat of a thousand suns. There is nothing certain in this world. Except one thing. That I will do every single solitary thing in my power to make my son not have to EVER write something like that for moms like me. He will be the one that has the most support, the most love, the most everything that will ever aide him in succeeding in whatever it is that he chooses to do in his life.
I had to have that cry to allow myself to see that the only weakness that there is…is believing that one person’s truth is destined to be another child’s fate.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.