Tonight as I fruitlessly attempted to put Jp to bed, on the floor at eye level with him, I could not help but be awestruck by how much more grown up he looks just one little day after his birthday. He looks like such a little man seemingly overnight. His eyes now just carry this air of “older” to me all of the sudden as if by magic somehow.
This beautiful little creature, that sometimes becomes possessed by overwhelming emotion perhaps, but an astounding beauty nonetheless– is all mine. How lucky am I (most days)?
It is funny, sometimes, to love someone with this insane -beyond logical reasoning- intensity, so much so that you have almost what can only translate to “goldfish memory” to anything they have ever done or will ever do wrong in their lifetime.
Parenting is a special kind of crazy…but it comes fully equipped with such an inexplicably deep and never-before-seen kind of love that it makes every bad day where all we want to so is throw our hands up in despair in the moment seem like a blessing wrapped as a gift in hindsight.
Even on my worst parenting day, the idea of NOT being a parent is simply too much to bear.
Thank goodness I never have to…
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.