Um…who made you a pediatrician? A wish fairy?

Today I had to take Jp to see a new pediatrician in the same office since his (since his birth) moved away. It was just a standard well-check but I walked away feeling kind of sorry for the many children with delays that will see this woman (since mine certainly never will again). She was just so strangely clueless. I assumed all of his vital information was in the handy dandy computer and that she had perused it before we saw her (silly me) so I went about the appointment as normal, telling her about some of the newer issues that have come up and some that have resolved, and ended with requesting the new list of referrals that we now need from the office, as par usual.

She gave me a blank look when it came to the Neurologist. She wanted to know why I would need that. “Hmmmm *cue me being totally confused here* because that is what I discussed with [old pediatrician].”

She wanted to know why I would need that for a language delay.

What? Seriously? I looked over at my son that was currently standing straight at the tops of his toes, who could not answer her questions or follow her directions a moment ago, remembered that I just answered that he ate about 3 different foods and omitted about half of the food groups, that he had been repeating the word “doctor” since she walked in (since I told him we were going to the doctor earlier), we had discussed his teeth grinding and refusal to brush his teeth, the fact that he is three and does not sleep through the night, and his transition issues.

Okay, maybe that isn’t a reason to sound the alarm and call in every evaluation team that there is but the fact that she genuinely seemed to have ZERO clue why I would want him to be formally assessed was a tiny bit disturbing to me for all of the other children whose parents do not engage in the research that I do.

Lesson here? Trust your mommy gut and not your pediatrician. They are not ALL super intelligent, after all. This one seemed to not know a single warning sign outside of eye contact aversion.

Maybe the Developmental Pediatrician will say that Jp is a-okay, maybe not. But, either way, just write the referral so that I can feel like I gave it my all to do everything that I can for my son.

And maybe read a book on the different variations of delays and disorders, for goodness sakes.



Childhood Development


Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

14 Comments Leave a comment

    • The fact that she didn’t see any flags and mention them to me was unnerving…but the fact that she acted as though I was off of my rocker for suggesting a Neurologist when he had had an abnormal (brain) ultrasound at birth and continued to have obvious deficits in his pragmatic language and comprehension….seriously disturbing. Yikes.

  1. Oh, man. I feel your frustration. I change doctors like there’s no tomorrow. We recently moved in March and am on the hunt again. I’ve already been to one from several referrals from parents, and I was horrified. I had to actually ask the doctor (right as she was getting ready to touch my toddler) if she had washed her hands. My previous ped washed her hands in front of us, and although she was clueless in some areas, she was pretty decent and my kids loved her. Like you, I’m a research nerd and she didn’t mind my questions, and even would go research herself if she wasn’t familiar with something.

    I have an appointment set up in August with another local ped. We’ll see.

    • My old ped was a sweet, lovely woman. And she knew me and knew I didn’t run in for every cold and hiccup. I had told her I wanted to wait until three to do any formal assessments for Jp’s delays and she was totally on board because she knew I wasn’t jumping the gun.

      This lady treated me like I was a hysterical mother and I could live with that if she was half as sweet as my old one. She barely looked at Jp and didn’t interact with him at all. That I cannot tolerate. πŸ™‚

      • Oh, wow. Yup, I’ve dealt with a few of those – that treat me like I don’t know my own kid and they know better from some textbook diagnosis without doing a thorough exam. Thorough meaning looking at the symptoms and actually listening to the parent.

        I had one pulmonologist (who saw my two oldest kids for asthma) yell at me on the phone. Actually yell at me! Because I took my son camping up in the mountains. Told me I put my son in danger and he could have had an extreme asthma attack. I told him, “Uhh… excuse me. Actually, his asthma IMPROVED because the air was CLEANER up there.” Dumbass. I never took my kids back to him. AND any ped I have ever gone to that said I needed to take my kids to a pulmonologist, recommended him and him alone.

  2. Oh dear. I hope our pediatrician never moves. I don’t want to ever have to hunt to find one as good as him. We found him by a recommendation (from 3 different families I should add) and I intend to keep him!

    Sorry about the clueless dr. Look at it this way….it’s better to find out she’s clueless now than after a few months or whatever full of bonding time. I’d rather know straight from the get-go! Good luck finding another new amazing dr!

    • Oh, she was clueless. She barely spoke to Jp. He has a language delay but she could have at least attempted. Off to find a new one…not looking forward to the process. πŸ™‚

  3. Great blog. I need to be more silly…. I’m way too serious πŸ™‚ I’ve researched spectrum children for 9 years and have a lot of information from a neuroscience, nutrition, creative play and holistic approach. It’s something I put together because we have a sensitive sentient being in our family (I’ll avoid any labels). You can email me at if you are interested in the PDF. Keep searching and trusting your mommy gut! Keep inspiring others to discuss the journey and melt away the judgments we all face in this “modern age” of parenting.

    • If by “modern age” you mean Pinterest-guilt-inducing-judgmental-I-only-use-positive-parenting-therefore-I-am-always-right age…I agree. πŸ™‚

      I have always been someone that seeks the humor out in a situation and being a mom to an atypical wonder makes that even more so!

      I will certainly love to hear your information and will email you. Thank you for offering and I can’t wait to catch up on your blog. πŸ™‚

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