Today I saw a comment in my inbox from Donnie Trades, one of my all-time favorite bloggers that I had not heard from in a while. It was then that I was struck with the realization of just how many of my original “blogging crew” was still around. Most not at all, more pop in and out sporadically, and only one still rolls on with constant steam and regularity besides myself.
It is like I woke up one day and everyone that I was close with in the blogesphere was gone.
My blog is only seven months old and in that time I have seen a plethora of bloggers come and go and come and go, again. I mean, I completely get it. Blogging takes up quite a bit of time and energy and, for most of us, pays nothing. Some days, it is hard to find the time to sit down at the computer. Others, to have something to say that is worth reading at all.
The fact is…the longer you blog, the more narcissistic you feel.
How can you imagine that people are eagerly waiting, on pins and needles, to read your mediocre writing about your family/hobbies/interests/opinions/world views and NOT be something of a narcissist? Besides, once your blog hits a certain “level” (stats, likes, comment volume) you feel frustrated when you see dips. That was pure gold, people! 15 Likes?! That is just unacceptable! Why do I even bother?
So, sure, I can totally see where most people either run out of brilliant witticisms or just become disenchanted with the whole process.
Even with myself, I started this blog to process the idea that my child was having delays that my husband did not want to talk to me about. Now he will. Now I no longer need to process…I am happy and comfortable with my life. Now I have daily yoga. Now I am starting the process of volunteering with a preemie mom support group as a mentor.
So why do I still hold onto the blog when finding the time is even harder now then it ever was before?
I suppose I am just a narcissist like that.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.