Life inevitably changes us. It’s ups and downs harden us, the failures make us more prepared for the next hardship, the moments of despair help us to grow a protective thick skin that makes us resilient. People, by nature, truly are survivors. We endure, we grow, and we change over the many years and life lessons that we are presented with.
I am a person that has been through the ringer (twice, even) but something about me will never really -truly- grow up.
I like being different. I like standing out. A piece of me will always be that insecure girl that “faked it until you make it”. And although part of me is older and wiser…another part will always be idealistic and silly. I like that part. I embrace it with open arms. I will forever hold onto that minuscule fraction of me that is young and stupid and impetuous.
Because I was fun without consequences and life was nothing short of limitless then. It was a time of magic.
The little things that I can do to tap into that wild girl (without actually being dangerous or stupid), I like to do. I like to be that person that did not know yet of some of the ache and regret that comes with adulthood.
And so I did this….
You know why? Because why the hell not? I used to live to dye my hair every color under the rainbow– sometimes all at the same time. I loved it. And, as I explained, a part of me will never, ever grow up.
I thought it would be fun, make me feel young again, to again be that girl that camped out in lines all night for concert tickets (BI: Before Internet), and remind me of what it was like to be totally control of my own destiny. It did. To top it off…I think I totally pull it off even for an old chick.
So go do it. Whatever “it” is that makes you go back to your roots again, just do it. Being a mom and a wife is something that changes you…sometimes to the point that you can almost forget who you were once upon a time. And while these changes are positive and necessary, it is also nice to reconnect with the person that brought you there.
Celebrate the pre-mom you. Whatever brings you back there: blue hair, old music, or break out some old styles. That confused and stupid girl that you used to be grew up to be the woman and mother that you became. Love her for all of her flaws.
She lived through all of your mistakes to make you who you who you are today.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.