Throughout the last year, I have clearly touted myself as a parenting blog. I consistently write and pour my heart out about the unique and challenging experiences that come along with raising an atypically developing toddler, the fun and quirky moments that all parents face, and the honest (though rarely admitted openly) and primitive feelings that accompany both.
And frankly, I am truly starting to bore myself to tears. As I sit down to write lately, I find myself thinking, “Been there, said that, done that already.”
This does not mean that I love parenting any less and it goes without saying that I love my son. But talking about him all of time just makes me feel like a crazy, obsessed mom that is described in this video.
A quick (warning: unedited) synopsis is this:
“Fuck kids. They’re getting entirely too much attention. And I know what some of you are thinking: ” Jesus, he’s not going to attack children, is he?” Yes he is! He’s going to attack children. And remember, this is Mr. Conductor talking; I know what I’m talking about.
And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you’re such fucking heros, aren’t gonna like this, but somebody’s gotta tell you for your own good: your children are overrated and overvalued, and you’ve turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish, and it’s not healthy. And don’t give me all that weak shit, “Well, I love my children.” Fuck you! Everybody loves their children; it doesn’t make you special. : : : John Wayne Gacy loved his children. Yes, he did. That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is this constant, mindless yammering in the media, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow everything–everything–has to revolve around the lives of children. It’s completely out of balance.”
Raw but littered with truth. As moms we are encouraged to be these over-achieving-Pinterest-scouring-gotta-be-on-top-of-every-tiny-move-that-they-make parents. “Enjoy every moment because before you know it, it will all be over!” That is all that we hear and are being downloaded with endlessly. I appreciate the sentiment but I am just not a helicopter, over-scheduling mom with an obsessive streak. I let him be his own kid most of the time. He likes to do his own thing and I am great with that. I want to raise an independent and self-sufficient child. I, personally, was raised that way. My mom was not hovering over me every minute of every day, planning every minute of my life and I grew up to be a stronger person for it. Life is not kind to everyone and without that self-reliance…I do not know where I would be right now.
Does that mean that I never play with Jp and he is running around like something out of Lord of the Flies every day? Of course not but some days he does. Dirt and all. Do I feel that need to have him be on my lap at all times? No, not really. I want him to be a kid that will be able to go to sleepovers and have fun and make memories that last a lifetime …not the one that calls home at midnight crying. Is that a strange priority? Maybe so and I can fully admit that. But I am aware, as I grew up as an only child myself, you have to have a strong sense of self and the ability to just be. It could be a lonely place without brothers and sisters…which other only children have told me they found the experience…but I was never lonely. Because I never relied on anyone to entertain me. I could crawl up in my mom’s lap whenever I wanted but I was just as happy playing in my room for hours on end.
With this philosophy in mind– it is easy to see why writing a blog every single day about parenting and talking about my son endlessly makes me feel vapid. It makes me feel boring. It makes me sound like one of those uber obsessed parents that I am really not.
Okay, maybe a tiny bit obsessed. I love that McNugget like a fat kid loves cake but I am also the mom that plops on the bench at the park and lets him run. I am always there to shout, “Way to go, buddy!”, and give him a big clap and take some pictures but that time, for me, is a chance to relax since he can play without breaking anything that I care about. Mommy needs to breathe.
So having a full time hobby like blogging that includes more parenting talk is becoming…difficult at times to say the least. Others, I cannot stop talking about him since he is non-stop being cute/funny/crazy/wild/ect. It has become my quandary.
What do the rest of my mommy bloggers do when you start to bore yourselves? Or am I the only one? I hate watching my stats plateau and then dive from inactivity but I cannot seem to bring myself to write one more monologue right now about how much Jp loves peanut butter. Thoughts?
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.