It is easy to say the fish in a bowl is acting crazy…if you have never seen them behave in the ocean.

mileyI am going to do it. I will toss my hat into the ring to be yet another one of the dime a dozen people that feels the need to flood your already overcrowded feed with yet another two cents worth of commentary on the [quote] epic disgrace of the decade [end quote] that was Miley Cyrus a.k.a Hannah Montana at the MTV Video Music Awards this year.

Before you roll your eyes, I am going to warn you that I am not going to write another outraged parent piece (“Miley Cyrus makes it a harder world to raise our daughters in”) or a ‘what is this generation coming to’ rant. I am going to say the same thing that I always do when a teen idol grows up into a wild, provocatively dancing, partying-’til-the-break-of-dawn adult…

Yeah…so?

I have watched the my Facebook news feed be bombarded with the sentiments that I quoted above for two solid days. I have seen the intolerance for being that overly sexualized out of the mouths of the exact same girls that I remember being on top of the bars right next to me when we were in our twenties. The same women that I went to clubs with that left the same night with someone they had been dancing with– dancing that would have made ol’ Miley Hannah’s twerking look like the Hokey Pokey at a church social.

I mean, what all of the sudden gives us the right to be so Holier-than-thou? I am sure that every person that is taking to social media in this hardly unprecedented sense of outrage has been rebellious. They all, at one point, did not want to be talked to or seen as a “little girl” any more. They probably acted out, dressed well above their age, danced all night, drank too much, experimented with sexuality, acted borderline out of control….

The only difference is that, in our age of youthful bad decisions and indiscretions, we did not live in fish bowl. Miley Cyrus does. Lindsey Lohan does. Janelle what’s-her-face from Teen Mom does. These girls are not horrific. They are young and stupid just like we all were once upon a time. The only difference is that they have the money and the visibility to make it look truly bad. But I have seen worse at any bar on a Friday night since I have been old enough to be granted entry to one (and younger still with a fake ID– GASP!)

If you think that Miley’s “twerking” was sign that our society is headed downhill -and fast- you must not have stayed up late at night to watch Madonna concerts on HBO with me when I was in grade school. With her cone bras and backup dancers writhing around on over sized beds. Or watched her videos advocating that she was “keeping her baby” even though she was still in high school, how being touched by a man made her feel “like a virgin” once again, or a how-to tutorial on why it was glamorous to be a gold digging “material girl”. Did that viewership cause me to become a teen mom or a trophy wife? No, And even in my moments of youthful antics, Madonna was the farthest thing from my mind, I can promise you that.

Part-of-being-young-is-making-mistakes.Being wild and provocative is not new or really that sensational. Having your personal life and escapades updated seven and eight times daily…that is. These girls -tragically- are navigating a notoriously uncertain age with too much money and too little guidance as everyone in their “camp” is payed to be there. I am not appalled by their very typical young and outwardly silly behavior, I genuinely feel sorry for them.

While I get to look back on my past transgressions and can be grateful that there was no such thing as Facebook or Twitter back then, these girls will grow up, have children of their own, and will still have to be reminded of this tumultuous time in their lives every time a TMZ “Most Shocking Moments” comes on. Those poor things.

And as for the moms that are all up in arms about having to raise their daughters in this world where Hanna Montana grew up and dropped it like it was hot on national television? Well, just be glad that you will have someone to blame now if you catch little Susie trying out her twerk skills in the bathroom mirror.

Enjoy that soapbox, ladies, we are the last generation to have the privilege.

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

39 Comments Leave a comment

  1. I totally agree. I’ve seen worse stuff which were adored by many. I am not a big fan of her performance but hey that’s how she likes to interpret the songs. Not going to allow my kids watch the video but then again vma is not rated G.

    • That’s the spirit! I didn’t like it, thought it was ridiculous, but hey, I can’t say that I haven’t done worse at the notoriously stupid age of 20. VMA’s have always been wild and push the envelope. Pre-screen and parent. Don’t pretend that every girl that was ever on Disney has to live her life to be a “role model”.

    • I don’t get the bears, either? Maybe a play on being a teen idol but the dancing shows that she’s not? Perhaps a grand sense of irony?

      Though maybe I am giving her too much credit for being deep! πŸ˜‰

  2. True confession: I had to Google “twerking.” I’m still not quite sure I understand it.
    I get where you’re coming from. I have no illusions that Stella (and Felix) won’t do stupid shit when they’re bigger. But I can’t help but hope that in some way people like Audrey Hepburn will be more cool than people like Miley or Madonna when they’re of twerking age. You can be sexy and still be classy.
    God, I’m old.

    • No, not old. It’s a logical thing to want for your daughters. I would the same. But I think it is up to us to teach that and not rely on ex-Disney role models.

      Instead of being mad…I say you use her as a cautionary tale. I plan to make Jp watch every episode of 16 and pregnant before I give him the condoms. πŸ˜‰

  3. I love this, and yes I too am guilty of dancing on bars and doing things that would make my mother die a thousand deaths. I am grateful there was no email, facebook and twitter back in those days. I did feel her performance was a little raunchy, not so much the twerking but the humping of the foam finger – I think thats what made me frown more than once. Oh well. Time for me to get off my soap box πŸ™‚ Thanks again for the great iece and saying it like its.

    • Oh, it was gross, she was gross, and I may never look at Robin Thick the same again. But it was her choice and, lord, I have made worse. I just don’t think we should expect so much out of these girls. I wasn’t shocked. I expect them to implode. Disney is the ruiner of women.

      And I would have TOTALLY twerked if I was twenty…no doubt. πŸ™‚

  4. You’re right there’s nothing NEW under the sun. Like you said, the only difference is that these young girls are on display. To be honest, I kept hearing about Miley Cyrus in the news and I had no idea what the coverage was regarding. Did someone in her family die? Is someone sick? Then, I found out it was just her “twerking”

    I actually had to look up that word by the way!

    • Nope, nothing new. I am always astonished that everyone reacts so up in arms every time a Disney “princess” falls to the slutty dark side. Don’t they mostly at this point? I say if she wants to be a skeez then let her. It’s not like she invented it…why all the outrage?

      • Ha! Disney princesses deserve a post of their own. It would be interesting to see how a psychologist would evaluate these character’s sudden shift to promiscuity . . .

      • Too much, too young, too little real guidance, and too much money! These girls were superstars before they even knew who they were and had more wealth than their parents ever did before they hit puberty. Plus, Disney makes them act a certain way as long as they are under contract which can go on for years. They hit the less cute teens and rebel. Typical teenage stuff just under a very public microscope. In my humble opinion (as a psych major lol).

  5. Thank God I am not famous and even greater thanks that my family are not. We would be daily newsprint fodder and my mum even more embarrassed by us. This reminds me of some of my friends when they had no kids or kids younger than mine. They were never going to tolerate certain types of clothes, attitude or behaviour, until of course their children grew up and wore them out. My simple wish for my kids is to be happy and not get arrested!

    • I have lamented that same thought on more than one occasion. People hold these girls to a higher regard because they are supposed to be “role models”. But the truth is…they are just dumb dumb teenage girls. Some people handle that age well…and others make terrible decisions.

      If I was famous…I’d be Miley Cyrus. And since you grow out of that…I can’t help but feel sorry for the girl. She’s going to look back on this and cringe. πŸ™‚

  6. Ahem. No comment. πŸ˜‰ No, I get your point. I do. However, I think it IS possible to raise children that don’t dance on bars in their 20’s. I didn’t. Not to say that some of my siblings raised in the exact same family didn’t act out and do wild things, it just wasn’t in my rule-following personality. Combine that with my religious upbringing, and I didn’t get wild at all. But, my view is this. Why are we so concerned with her being a role model? Can’t we just turn off the TV? There is no way my child will ever see that performance. What’s wrong with our culture is that parents let their kids watch crap like NCIS, or the MTV music awards, and then get outraged when some wild thing is “twerking” whatever the heck THAT is, or violence against women is shown. The problem is that we are a media obsessed society and crave looking into that fish bowl.

    • I think that you can do your best to be the best parent that you can but you cannot shelter your children forever. We can keep them from things in our home but they do venture out of the nest and all you can do is hope that the things that you instilled in them will stick.

      And, in my humble opinion, being wild in your youth is one manifestation of how some kids rebel from being too sheltered. Trying to control, repress, and keep your children from the world can make them more curious. It’s all a crap shoot.

      You managed to skip the “wild” in youth…but you are also a person that has a wide variety of anxieties. We all deal with what we have (and what we have been through) in our own way.

      Some of us just were not born to be rule followers.Which, by the way, was quite the opposite of the way that I was raised. πŸ˜‰

      • I agree that sheltering too much can lead to rebellion, but I know plenty of people (besides myself) too that don’t rebel when raised with strict values. I’m married to one of them! I’m just saying, I think it’s also used as an excuse to NOT shelter while we still can when they are babies because of COURSE one day they will be at school, have different friends with different values, etc. and will have to make their own choices, but I think trying to help them stay innocent as long as possible is never a bad thing! I don’t think it’s naive to want to instill those values in your kids in the hopes that they will avoid making the same mistakes as their peers. But, I also hope that I will always be able to love them despite mistakes they will inevitably make. Yes, anxiety may have played a role in some of my decision making, but I did not suffer in my 20s the way I suffer now. So, to say it’s because I was scared to do things wrong isn’t entirely true either. I had a set of values that were instilled in me, and I stuck to them because I believed them.

      • I think you mistake what I meant. I am not saying that it is wrong to protect the innocence of your children or that any particular type of parenting is guaranteed to create rebellion. It is my statement that every type of parenting will have it’s pros and cons and that all depends on the person that your child grows to be.

        Kids grow up to be people and the reactions that will have to what they were raised can be vastly different. Two children that are raised in the same home can very well grow up to be drastically different people. It all depends on the child.

        And as for the anxieties, I solely meant that most anxieties are considered to be either genetic (which I don’t subscribe to) or created from tensions in early childhood and I know (from previous discussions) that you had a mother that was not necessarily stellar at expressing herself in the calmest of manners all of the time. So, while that may send one child straight to twerk-ville it could have caused you to be a rule-follower that has physical responses to the things that make you anxious. It is just a statement that children respond differently.

        I am sure that having a strong belief system has always guided you and I wasn’t attacking that or your choices in parenting. It’s not my style. I just believe that all we can do is our best and it doesn’t mean that every girl shaking it in her 20’s parents didn’t do their best, too. My mom did her very best to raise to me be very different than the person that I was in my early 20’s, and I grew to be someone that she would be proud of, but the fact is that children are people and respond how they will respond no matter our best efforts.

  7. Love! Love! Love! I’m soooo guilty! I didn’t think she was ruining my child’s future, but I did wonder, “What the heck is up with Miley Cyrus and WHY is she humping that finger?!” And, if someone had video taped me back in the day…yeah, wasn’t pretty. So, thank you for this post! : )

    • Most of us had our moments. Some more than others…like me! πŸ˜‰ I just kept seeing indignation from people I knew did so much worse than twerking and thought, “Did everyone forget how crazy we were when we were all 20?!”

      It’s good to grow up but I don’t think it should make us intolerant. πŸ™‚ Then again, we can totally laugh at them…twenty year olds are silly. πŸ˜‰

  8. Though I agree with your sentiment, I think there is one very big difference between the Madonnas and Mileys of the world. Madonna, love her or hate her, came onto the scene as a performer known for provocative dress, dance, lyrics, etc. Miley, Lindsay and company started off as bubblegum performers on child TV programming. So my little girl, who is 6, knows who Hannah Montana is. Personally, I keep her away from MTV, and at her age that is easy, but what about a girl who is 10 or 12, right or wrong she probably grew up watching sweet little Hannah turn into a sexed up whore on national TV. I don’t chalk that up to rebellion, or growing pains, but to exploitation, and she being just as guilty in that respect.
    The line of thinking that we shouldn’t allow our children to be manipulated by such things and good old fashioned parenting will save the day just doesn’t work in the real world. Like it or not these pseudo talents can and do influence kids regardless of what anybody says. So for this kid, who’s vast fortune was made off of little girls and their parents, to flaunt her body on national tv by walking around nearly naked and having simulated sex is such a slap in the face that I don’t know where to start. Thanks.
    Bill

    • I certainly understand your perception. It is difficult to watch what was once a sweet girl become something so vile. And yes, I thought it was rather vile. But as for the idea of “exploitation” I cannot agree. I believe that the truth is…that she is not being exploited. I believe that the reason that, not one but many, ex-Disney girls end up becoming so wildly and outwardly sexualized is the fact that Disney, while under contract, forces them to be and behave a certain way. Which for girls with money and fame of that magnitutde do not like to be “told what to do”. I think it is a classic rebellion.

      I would Madonna as more being exploited (financially) than Miley. She doesn’t make money off of the dozens of Youtube videos that she posts. She is simply a girl in search of attention. So…a normal twenty-year-old girl with too much money, too little sense, and too much visibility.

      I would agree that she is disrespectful of where she made her money but I think it is unfair to expect her to live her life forever based on your adolescent pursuits. But please don’t mistake that for my agreeing with her behavior…I just do not think it is a cause for the up in arms response that it received.

      • Thanks for your response. My real issue is not what she did, but that she exploited her own image for personal gain, that image being a sweet little girl who other little girls look up to (whether we like it or not). She obviously planned the routine and must have at least had to have some idea that it would be controversial. I’m not holding Disney blameless, but she wasn’t forced to work for them or work under their decency guidelines. They paid her a boatload of money to be a sweet and innocent girl and she and her family took it, along with the vast amount of marketing that Disney does for these kids. I’m not making this about money but integrity, and all I saw is a young lady who has lost any that she had. Sure, we all got a little wild at the bar one time or another, but nobody was paying us and we certainly weren’t using a well crafted image to shock the other bar patrons.
        Bill

      • I agree, I do. I just know attention seeking 20-something’s and they are not known for solid decision making. I guess the fact that she made her money being an idol should give her a certain sense of responsibility but alas, that is not the case.

        I still, in a way feel sorry for her. In these girls attempts to change their image…they always go too far and embarrass themselves. I guess she just didn’t get the memo. πŸ™‚

      • Believe me I hear you. I just think that everybody needs to start having a little more accountability for their actions. She may be young, but she isn’t a kid anymore.

      • Agreed. More so than I could convey. If I had a nickel for every decision I could have made differently when I was young…I would be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams.

        I hope her 20/20 hindsight moment comes much sooner.

        Thank you for the frank and open discussion. πŸ™‚

  9. Kindred spirits! I too have ranted on my fb page about folks leaving this gal alone to live her life.
    She is an entertainer and was entertaining, does it get any simpler than that?
    Parents are the only one’s responsible for raising their kids! If you can not as a parent impact the necessary values and morals required to live in our world, then you need not be making any babies.
    The media outrage and castigating of this young gal who played a character HANNA MONTANA once is ridiculous!
    What exactly did she do which all the others like Beyonce,Rhianna,Brittany and the grand-mama’s of the lot Jay-lo and Madonna have not done,and will continue to do?
    I thought I was the only one pissed by the double standards,it’s good to know there are still some sane(using the term lightly) folks around πŸ™‚

    • Lol very lightly! πŸ˜‰ But I think she’s just a dumb kid who doesn’t care where he made her money and wants to live her life.

      I remember being young and dumb clearly and caring what other People think was never MY strong suit so I guess I’m just more tolerant.

      Besides, I don’t think she even looks like Hanna Montana anymore so I don’t think the girls that idolized her once upon a time will be too ready to go in that direction. πŸ˜‰

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