Take that coupon and shove it, lady…

Let us talk about a serious social issue. One that is shaking the nation right now as we speak. That is right, folks. I am talking about couponing.

We all know what they are and know at least one Facebook friend that takes the craft seriously. We’ve all seen the post where they have fifteen of ten random items piled up on the kitchen table with the post: “$19.28, people! #Couponqueen”.

ImageI get it, I do. I like coupons. Food just tastes that much sweeter when you buy it for 25% off. Clothes just look better when they were on clearance. I love the feeling of saving money (thrifty is my middle name) so I can completely understand the passion that goes into finding bargains and racking up savings.

But -and this is a big but- if your shopping cart looks like you are stockpiling for the next apocalypse and you are yelling at a grocery clerk over a 50 cent coupon that the computer (not the clerk herself) will not take…let us just call it what it really is– an extraordinarily good reason to seek some therapy. You obviously have an addiction issue and it needs to be addressed just as much as the gentleman having a beer in the shower before breakfast.

Today, as I stood behind a woman yelling –yelling– at a clerk over 50 cents off of a tube of $1.50 toothpaste, I wanted to reach out and smack her. I had visions of me knocking over her cart full of 4 24-packs of toilet paper, 10 rolls of paper towels, 15 packages of hot dogs, 20 cans of Lima Beans, and a single tube of tooth paste (yes, I had plenty of time to inventory her cart while she unloaded on everyone that would listen about the stupid coupon) just to get to her.

Get a grip, Amber, pull it together.

One, it is my pet peeve in life to watch anyone berate a person in any variation of customer service. I spent too many years being paid to kiss someone’s rear for a living. It makes me see red. My blood starts to boil and I remember every single time that I had to take the verbal abuse so I could pay my tuition, rent, and attempt not to starve in the process. I just want to bop them in the nose and ask them, “Where you raised by wolves?!”, now that I do not have to smile and nod just to make ends meet.

ImageSecond, I am not -by any stretch of the imagination- rich. I am certainly not in a position to burn fifty dollar bills to heat my house in the winter or throw away clothing just because they are “out of style”. I am a stay-at-home mom. I know my way around a tight budget. But you cannot tell me that you need 10 packages of hot dogs to survive. You are buying them because they are on sale and you have a coupon. From the looks of your purchases, you probably have a storm shelter full of nonsense that you may never live long enough to eat as long as they keep mass-producing these little slips of paper that you are currently yelling about.

Third, some of us are just trying to buy groceries on a Tuesday when there are only three lanes open. To feed our family tonight. Some of us have children that are sitting in a basket seconds away from losing it and all we want to do is purchase our food in a timely fashion so that we can get the chicken home to marinate.

After calling the second manager, with me blocked in, I just lost it. I reached in my purse and pulled out a dollar bill and slammed it on the counter. “Look lady, we have lives! Take the money so we can get on with our day, already!”

As soon as the words came flying out of my mouth, I immediately regretted it. The woman turned to me with a look that could murder a million kittens on the spot. Pure kitty genocide glare status. I froze. I couldn’t run…there was nowhere to go. Besides, what would we eat for dinner?

Then, as soon as I was sure that she was actually going to slap me, I heard the man behind me clapping. I cannot make this up. This really happened.

The man behind me started to clap. Which the woman behind him with three kids in tow joined in and added, “Yeah, get a life!” Then the man behind her threw up his fists victoriously and then began clapping, too.

I watched all of this in slow motion, utterly horrified, as the woman just told the clerk to never mind, paid for the groceries, and left without picking up my dollar or ever looking at me again. Then, after she was gone, the cashier gave me a high five. Every one in line was cheering, asking me my name, and making comment about how they wished they had said it.

So today, I received my first standing ovation (well, it is not like you can sit in the line, but I will take it). For being a b!t@& to a woman in the grocery store over two quarters.

Everyone needs a “Rudy moment“. Mine just happened to be over a coupon.


Photo Credit:





Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

15 Comments Leave a comment

  1. girl, i love me some rudy. also: this made me laugh out loud for real. that woman needed to be slapped upside the head, bein rude to some nice cashier about some 50-cent bullsh*t. just so she could pickle her entire family with the two pounds of nitrates in her half-price hotdogs? *please* if i were there, i woulda high-fived ya. BOOYAH

    • Right? Stop worrying about 50 cents and go to rehab, weirdo. Or do your extreme couponing on a Saturday when all of the registers are open.

      I hate people that are rude to cashiers. They make like $9 an hour. They don’t need that crap! 🙂

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂

  2. Hahaahahah! Virtual high five from me too..I mean to each her own and so if the lady wants to coupon she may as well but that is no excuse to being rude. It’s not like the cashier has anything to do with the coupons, so save that attitude for someone else. I work in the service industry where I have to deal with childlike clients and so I too have zero patience for rude people outside of work. Great going..you so deserved the standing ovation and because you can’t make out if I am sitting or standing, I am going to give you a follow instead..not as cool as the checkout lane awesomeness but still it’s something, right?

    • Totally! I appreciate it greatly!

      And I hate hate HATE people that yell at people that can’t fight back. That poor clerk is just trying to feed her family making in a day what you are spending on hot dogs and TP.

      I have always been that way, though. I used to pick fights with the “popular” kids that picked on gay kids or heavyset people. 🙂

  3. Oh my chocolate yes! I once got stuck, complete with hungry grumpy baby, behind a lady in a department store who was trying to return a shirt that had cost $3. And the sales lady didn’t know how to do returns and was trying to find the manager. WTF?

    I eventually said to her ‘look, how about I just give you the $3?’

    She got horribly offended that I would think she needed the money, but she went away muttering about coming back later. So I counted that a win!

    • Yes! I have literally only stopped the flow of traffic in a line once and the item was mismarked by A LOT. And I had the decency to apologize profusely to everyone around me. People are so thoughtless!

  4. I was just watching Extreme Couponing the other day and thinking, that looks like hoarding to me. This one college student had 11 years worth of laundry detergent and when he was done he said he now had 13 years of laundry detergent!!!! The only universe in which this makes some sort of sense is if someone shares with a food pantry for the poor. Plus, you never see they buying vegetables or healthy crap like that.

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