I have contemplated writing this post on more than one occasion. Though I always stop myself, for reasons of decorum, and decide against it. What could I be speaking of? What would cause me to wrinkle my nose and close my laptop for days every single time that I see it?
Freshly Pressed will never love me the way that I love it.
And, as with any one-sided love affair, I tend to find myself getting my heart broken like a teenage girl whose prom date didn’t show up. That, “always a bridesmaid, never a bride”, adage rears it’s ugly head all over again. I know that some people with newer blogs, much like single women view blissful romantic love, see Freshly Pressed as something that is out of reach, something that only the wildly talented few are privy to.
While I know that it happens all of the time. Almost everyone that started this blogging adventure with (we started all following each other when our blogs were brand new) have been Pressed.
No lie here. I am the cheese that stands (mostly) alone in my lack of the pretty blue widget on the side of my page. I keep saving prime real estate for it but…alas, still only a ticker saying that I am crazy, beautiful, and blessed. You know what would make me blessed? Huh, Freshly Pressed gods? Yeah, that’s right. Getting Freshly Pressed already! Where is the love?
I am not saying that I am not happy for all of well-deserving friends that have been granted entry into the throes. I am completely familiar with their work and they deserve it wholeheartedly. But what about ME?! What about poor Amber hacking away at the keyboard over here? Why aren’t I good enough for you, Freshly Pressed?! Why won’t you just notice me?! I check my email every night that I post for that magical golden ticket to WordPress stardom and then, when it never comes, I stuff my face with ice cream and weep myself to sleep all over again.
Okay, alright, not all of that true. It is true that I have never been Pressed and most of my oldest blogging crew has. I think that is to be slightly expected though, since I really did start following them originally because they were all talented and thoroughly entertaining writers. It does sting that I never have been, though I know there are more than a few reasons for that fact outside of sheer bad luck.
The truth is, I do check my email, though it is rare that I am truly disappointed. Only in the few and far between times that I actually conceptualized a piece, spent the time proofreading it thoroughly (which I rarely do), and think the content may very well be worth a nod. On those rare occasions, I do open the email in the evenings like poor little Charlie with his lone candy bar and hope that I will see the glimpse of shine but I cannot say that I have ever been heartbroken. Or, even, that I tried harder to improve the next post.
I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be on that page and have learned not to measure my blog’s success by that alone. You know, since it is all my fault that I won’t be.
Why, you may ask? Since I am obviously so awesome (stop laughing at me!)?
1) I’m not a writer, I just talk a lot–
I am not a writer. Once upon a time, I was considered to have some glimmer of talent at it. Twas even published a time or two high school for essays. But then people went and did something that changed the game forever. They went to college for English and writing! They learned how to write with grace and elegance while I was getting my friends laid in the name of Social Psych.
I write -to the letter- exactly the way that I speak. I have no skills past that. When I speak, out loud, it comes across as eloquent and thoughtful. When I write, it is rudimentary and lacking in the technical abilities that I read from people that are Pressed.
That is not to say that every piece that hits the page is so because the people are better writers than myself. I feel that is probably not a fact, at all. But it goes together like peanut butter and jelly in conjunction with the others.
2) The brain is a mysterious organ. And mine hates grammar like kids hate broccoli.
Hi, my name is Amber and I am a grammar reject. Mostly punctuation issues. Do not ask me why, do not ask me how, but this has always been a fact. I attribute to my left-brained nature– math has a formula that will always work when applied correctly but, in English based endeavors, there are so many exceptions, rules, variations, ect. involved in editing that my brain learns, absorbs, and then immediately discards like a man with a “honey-do” list. Even in high school when I was published there was a teacher proofing it and in college there were lovely grammar websites that you could subscribe to that would edit all of your papers for a price. I told myself I was too busy to give it the attention it deserved but the truth is that I didn’t trust myself to do it properly. And since I make zero dollars and zero cents a month on my blog…I certainly will not be pulling out the credit card for Grammerly.com any time soon.
It is just not my forte and it probably never will be. I also can’t spell for anything and am a living embodiment of why phonetics are no longer taught in schools. Thank goodness for spell check, eh? Grammar check could really use some fine tuning, though.
3) I am taht pesron taht raeds ths jst fine.
I speed read. Like crazy. I can literally put down a novel in a few short hours. So when I am editing a post, I never see an error or typo until I read it like 12 or 13 times. It is always a glaring one that I cannot believe that I missed since I read it so many times but there it is…taunting me. Every single time that I find 2 or 3 in a post that has been up for hours I know I can kiss my dream of having it stand out to a Pressed editor when there are just as many that are equally good and do not have the problems that mine typically do.
I know that they will post if you make corrections but let’s go back to number one. My writing isn’t necessarily better than most people’s so it is more of a reach.
This could all be resolved and my chances would be much better if not the the most important reason that there is…
4) I am a lazy blogger.
I could stay up late at night brushing up on grammar rules by candlelight. I could put the time in to proof (and proof and proof) posts 15 or 16 times before I anxiously hit that publish button prematurely. I could put in so much more actual effort than I do normally. But the fact is that I don’t. I am perfectly content to bang them out in as little time as possible with good content that reaches people or makes them laugh (while they roll their eyes at the fact that I omit almost as many words as I type).
I measure the success of my blog on people’s response and reaction to it and no other way. Or, at least, that is what I keep telling myself since that inbox is always empty.
*Side Note– If one of you get FP’d anytime soon…don’t tell me I will be next. Every time that happens it is like catching the bouquet at wedding. It’s awkward, everyone is staring at you, and you get your hopes up. Then it’s super embarrassing when you are back in line for the flowers at the next wedding. 😉
You tell ’em, Toby!
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.