How do sour grapes taste? Um…bitter, of course!

ImageI have contemplated writing this post on more than one occasion. Though I always stop myself, for reasons of decorum, and decide against it. What could I be speaking of? What would cause me to wrinkle my nose and close my laptop for days every single time that I see it?

Freshly Pressed will never love me the way that I love it.

ImageAnd, as with any one-sided love affair, I tend to find myself getting my heart broken like a teenage girl whose prom date didn’t show up. That, “always a bridesmaid, never a bride”, adage rears it’s ugly head all over again. I know that some people with newer blogs, much like single women view blissful romantic love, see Freshly Pressed as something that is out of reach, something that only the wildly talented few are privy to.

While I know that it happens all of the time. Almost everyone that started this blogging adventure with (we started all following each other when our blogs were brand new) have been Pressed.

No lie here. I am the cheese that stands (mostly) alone in my lack of the pretty blue widget on the side of my page. I keep saving prime real estate for it but…alas, still only a ticker saying that I am crazy, beautiful, and blessed. You know what would make me blessed? Huh, Freshly Pressed gods? Yeah, that’s right. Getting Freshly Pressed already! Where is the love?

ImageI am not saying that I am not happy for all of well-deserving friends that have been granted entry into the throes. I am completely familiar with their work and they deserve it wholeheartedly. But what about ME?! What about poor Amber hacking away at the keyboard over here? Why aren’t I good enough for you, Freshly Pressed?! Why won’t you just notice me?! I check my email every night that I post for that magical golden ticket to WordPress stardom and then, when it never comes, I stuff my face with ice cream and weep myself to sleep all over again.

End scene.

Okay, alright, not all of that true. It is true that I have never been Pressed and most of my oldest blogging crew has. I think that is to be slightly expected though, since I really did start following them originally because they were all talented and thoroughly entertaining writers. It does sting that I never have been, though I know there are more than a few reasons for that fact outside of sheer bad luck.

The truth is, I do check my email, though it is rare that I am truly disappointed. Only in the few and far between times that I actually conceptualized a piece, spent the time proofreading it thoroughly (which I rarely do), and think the content may very well be worth a nod. On those rare occasions, I do open the email in the evenings like poor little Charlie with his lone candy bar and hope that I will see the glimpse of shine but I cannot say that I have ever been heartbroken. Or, even, that I tried harder to improve the next post.

I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be on that page and have learned not to measure my blog’s success by that alone. You know, since it is all my fault that I won’t be.

Why, you may ask? Since I am obviously so awesome (stop laughing at me!)?

1) I’m not a writer, I just talk a lot–

I am not a writer. Once upon a time, I was considered to have some glimmer of talent at it. Twas even published a time or two high school for essays. But then people went and did something that changed the game forever. They went to college for English and writing! They learned how to write with grace and elegance while I was getting my friends laid in the name of Social Psych.

I write -to the letter- exactly the way that I speak. I have no skills past that. When I speak, out loud, it comes across as eloquent and thoughtful. When I write, it is rudimentary and lacking in the technical abilities that I read from people that are Pressed.

That is not to say that every piece that hits the page is so because the people are better writers than myself. I feel that is probably not a fact, at all. But it goes together like peanut butter and jelly in conjunction with the others.

2) The brain is a mysterious organ. And mine hates grammar like kids hate broccoli.

Hi, my name is Amber and I am a grammar reject. Mostly punctuation issues. Do not ask me why, do not ask me how, but this has always been a fact. I attribute to my left-brained nature– math has a formula that will always work when applied correctly but, in English based endeavors, there are so many exceptions, rules, variations, ect. involved in editing that my brain learns, absorbs, and then immediately discards like a man with a “honey-do” list. Even in high school when I was published there was a teacher proofing it and in college there were lovely grammar websites that you could subscribe to that would edit all of your papers for a price. I told myself I was too busy to give it the attention it deserved but the truth is that I didn’t trust myself to do it properly. And since I make zero dollars and zero cents a month on my blog…I certainly will not be pulling out the credit card for any time soon.

It is just not my forte and it probably never will be. I also can’t spell for anything and am a living embodiment of why phonetics are no longer taught in schools. Thank goodness for spell check, eh? Grammar check could really use some fine tuning, though.

3) I am taht pesron taht raeds ths jst fine.

I speed read. Like crazy. I can literally put down a novel in a few short hours. So when I am editing a post, I never see an error or typo until I read it like 12 or 13 times. It is always a glaring one that I cannot believe that I missed since I read it so many times but there it is…taunting me. Every single time that I find 2 or 3 in a post that has been up for hours I know I can kiss my dream of having it stand out to a Pressed editor when there are just as many that are equally good and do not have the problems that mine typically do.

I know that they will post if you make corrections but let’s go back to number one. My writing isn’t necessarily better than most people’s so it is more of a reach.

This could all be resolved and my chances would be much better if not the the most important reason that there is…

4) I am a lazy blogger.

I could stay up late at night brushing up on grammar rules by candlelight. I could put the time in to proof (and proof and proof) posts 15 or 16 times before I anxiously hit that publish button prematurely. I could put in so much more actual effort than I do normally. But the fact is that I don’t. I am perfectly content to bang them out in as little time as possible with good content that reaches people or makes them laugh (while they roll their eyes at the fact that I omit almost as many words as I type).

I measure the success of my blog on people’s response and reaction to it and no other way. Or, at least, that is what I keep telling myself since that inbox is always empty.

*Side Note– If one of you get FP’d anytime soon…don’t tell me I will be next. Every time that happens it is like catching the bouquet at wedding. It’s awkward, everyone is staring at you, and you get your hopes up. Then it’s super embarrassing when you are back in line for the flowers at the next wedding. πŸ˜‰


You tell ’em, Toby!



Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

46 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Well, I won’t say it. I won’t. But, you definitely are good enough. OK. Fine. I said it.
    This post is somehow related to the post I wrote today…..You are awesome Amber. FP’d or not! And, if it has something to do with grammar, then why the heck did they FP me??? Another thought, I still write posts and think, “OK, I’m going to get FP’d again for this one” and feel disappointed all over again. The need will always be there to be recognized! Maybe I’m selfish, but I still want it, but I’m sure getting FP’d twice is even more impossible. πŸ™‚
    PS-Has Don gone missing?

  2. I understand your pain to some extent. I’ve been blogging on WordPress for roughly 2 years and still can’t seem to up my followers/comments (which means more to me) let alone get established enough for Fresh Pressing.

    When I first started, I thought the way you could find blog posts was a lot easier for everyone to get attention than it is now and it *seems* that I stopped getting attention around that same point, but maybe my writing did just start to get worse? Who knows!

    But keep writing because I like reading your posts – Fresh Pressed or not!

  3. It would be nice to be freshly pressed but it seems to kill a lot of bloggers. I have followed quite a few who got FP and then seemed to fall by the wayside. I wonder was the added followers and work anything to do with it. Also, as in Dons case, his post was not his usual, although he had written a couple of deep ones, therefore your new followers do not know who you really are.
    I have given up all hopes of FP. Like my Olympic dream I think I am born to be good enough but not great. Each time I write, I write for me. I do not want to change how I structure my writing, nor my language and grammar. I have never taken a writing class, and tend not to write overly clever titles so I suspect the odds are against me!
    I enjoy your posts. I follow you and very few freshly pressed blogs. In simple terms that means I prefer your blog.
    So I hope you do someday get FP, but just like in Bridget Jones Diary, I like you just the way you are.

    • I always think that it doesn’t seem to do anything for your overall blog outside of the one post. And I certainly won’t change the “voice” of my writing to get there, either. It would be nice, I would be lying if I said otherwise, but I am sure that I will be fine without it. πŸ™‚

      It would be nice, though, wouldn’t it? Just a little? πŸ˜‰

  4. Heh heh…this post gave me a chuckle because “I know that feel, bro”. I’ve been writing my blog for about a year and a half now, and while my posts aren’t daily gold, I’ve written a few that I genuinely believed were “Freshly Pressed” material…but it’s never happened.

    You’re definitely not alone in this one…we should start a club or something. πŸ˜›

  5. UMMM…

    what is freshly pressed?

    See, I don’t even care. Really. It’s ok and all. But, if I’m gonna feel judged by my writing, like in school/college and all…I didn’t come here to do that. I don’t mean no disrespect to anyone, but when I write, it is with my heart…you too amber…and screw em if they don’t see that…the rest of your followers will. I’d rather all my followers find my blog enticing than a small “group” of 2-3.
    I love what you write. LOVE.
    Keep writing with your heart. That is what is most important. No award of any kind can top that satisfaction. None.
    Much love….

  6. I am not good enough either. I am not sure why we are supposed to care though? I would guess it is more random than we suspect. On my dogs blog he got picked over and over for diary of the day and I am a much better writer than my dog so…

      • No short answers to any of those I unfortunately. Been in hospital being probed and infused and so on. Plus a knee operation. My health sucks in multiple ways it seems.

      • Oh! My heart breaks for you! Is there anything at all that I can do? Can I send you anything?

        I have more bananas and oatmeal than one could ever use. πŸ˜‰

        But seriously, it is wonderful to hear from you. I always worry when you are away.

      • I think the bananas wouldn’t make it. I didn’t have the kind of internet access I expected as I thought they would put me where I was before. Instead they put me somewhere so chaotic I barely left my room in three months (well I left for my surgery to another ward but other than that…) So I was only expecting to be cut off for 24 hours or so.

  7. I go see the freshly pressed when I’m bored. Sometimes I find something I like but more often than not I find some pretty bland stuff. Grammar and structure are highly overrated. I prefer to throw out my mindless drivel in a random and haphazard manner. It’s unlikely that the Freshly Pressed gods will ever appreciate the conversations I have with my Chihuahua.

    • If FP can’t appreciate a conversation with a Chihuahua then they are dumber than I thought. That sounds like the Cadillac of writing, right there! I can’t wait to go read some of this!

      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

  8. I am now officially embarrassed of the “Freshly Pressed” button on my page. The only reason I was pressed is because one time I wrote a post about Twitter. And that’s kind of a popular topic. They don’t press my depression posts. Or posts about abuse. And that makes me mad. Because my blog isn’t about Twitter. It’s about overcoming abuse and depression. But that isn’t why I’m commenting here. I’m commenting because I LOVE YOUR BLOG! The reason it’s fun to read is because you sound like you’re talking. You need to take all the things that make you not on Freshly Pressed as assets! Yes. Assets. They are what make your blog fun and awesome and have 25 comments. Consider Freshly Pressed random and not worthy of your awesomeness. And keep writing. You really do have talent.

  9. Pressed or not, Fuck ’em. As the “talker” and writer that you are, why worry about that shit. You have probably more readers than most of those FP’s folks. I have been reading your blog for a while now, but I really haven’t commented, I need to I guess because you are mostly the reason I smile during the day (oh and having the bagger at the grocery store find my underwear in my re-usable bag too, that was smile worthy) Don’t fret! Annnnnd, isn’t it funny that once “the bride” all you want is to be the “bridesmaid” again…… Oh what I’d give to be able to be in on the scrapping, fighting, hair pulling which is the bridesmaid, instead of sitting in my chair downing my cocktail in envy… Keep up the fight, keep being who you are and don’t write to be the Bride!

    • Oh my goodness, I always love to hear from a new reader…especially one that I didn’t even know that i had (though it always feel like I got caught with my hair up in curlers when company shows up lol).

      Thank you SO MUCH for saying that i make you smile. It means so much to know that I am doing something other than just wearing the letters off of my keyboard most days. πŸ™‚

      Thank you so, so, so much for taking the time to read and comment! πŸ™‚

  10. I’m pretty sure that you are freaking awesome with or without FP. And seeing as there is just so much love and commentary here for you, how could you not know how awesome you are? Your posts are hilarious and compelling and thought provoking. Your story and love are awesome. You are simply impeccable.

    What I’ve noticed after getting FP’d is that I get a lot of totally random follows now. Mostly from people who have no interest in my blog at all. They have usernames like “makeyourblogbetter” or “imperialsmallbusinessdesign” or even “yourblogcouldbebetter.” It’s seriously a lot of bots. And seeing as I have a lot of random follows and not a lot of comments, I wonder sometimes about who is behind the user names. It makes me not want to post pictures of the boys on my blog anymore… exposure is exposure, and sometimes exposure is bad. Something to think about.

    Either way, you’re flippin’ awesome and I’m crossing my fingers for you. You’re gonna get that pretty blue widget soon enough!

    • Thank you so much for your words! I was honestly astonished at the magnitude of awesome people that jumped up to “there, there” me! I had no idea I was that well received…and I already thought I was doing okay!

      I often wonder that. If the fame is something that sticks or if it just a bunch of people that troll pressed. And the bot thing? Not a shocker! I already notice sooooo many! Namely when you tag posts “blog” or “blogger” so I can only imagine what it must be like for someone that is pressed!

      I still would be a liar if I said I didn’t want it…but I know that it doesn’t define my blog. πŸ™‚

      Thank you, again!! Hope all is well with the Ursas (and the house)!

  11. I don’t know why it showed up as anonymous. Weird. It was making me log in or something weird. WP has been doing funky things lately. Today, all of my followers disappeared. So, I don’t know what’s going on. But, no it was not on purpose. πŸ™‚

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