I am freakishly consumed with practicing Vinyasa -or Flow- yoga. It is a practice of matching movement to breath. It is a relatively new preoccupation but one that is panning out to be a serious addiction. Being completely immersed in that moment of pure victory of extending into a full expression, all sweaty and accomplished, is my new drug of choice. And I am a bona fide junkie. There is no place that I feel more free, more alive, and more in tune with the best part of myself than when I contorting myself into the more advanced poses. The breathing brings me back to a place where my mind was still unencumbered by the weight that life inevitably brings with it’s many trials and tribulations. In that time, I am not a mom, I am not a wife, I am solely a woman obsessed with being comfortable in her own skin.
Here are my main reasons for getting myself onto the mat almost every single day:
1) It is the only portion of the day that my busy, busy brain actually stops twirling. You cannot bend, focus on your breath and posture, and worry about your weekly budget or personal issues. It is impossible. When you do vinyasa, it is all that you are thinking about in that moment. Distraction.
2) I have more energy than I used to have when I was pouring pots upon pots of coffee down my gullet every day. I still like to have one cup to really get jazzy for cleaning but I love that I do not need it to function like I used to. Invigoration.
3) I love the feeling of nailing a practice and tacking on an extra 15 minutes of the same session that had me toppling over on my mat in a pool of sweat a few weeks ago. I feel stronger than I have in my whole adult life. Satisfaction.
4) I need to do something that is for solely for me and me alone. A bitter, self-neglected mom is a grumpy, testy mom. Trust me, I know. Liberation.
5) Vain, I know, but I can see the changes in my body and it makes me feel sexy. My legs are toned, my stomach is getting flatter and more defined, and my arms look pretty good, too. I feel like I am looking pretty nice for an old broad. Self-Realization.
I wake up and I mom (yes, as a verb, it is my blog and I do what I want!). I mom until Chris comes home. Then I wife and mom until Jp goes to bed. Then it is wife time until Chris falls asleep. I desperately needed something to make me feel like my time was important, too. Take the time to make the time to be an actual person and not just the lady that everyone else relies on to make peanut butter sandwiches and assure that work clothes are hanging up in the bathroom each evening.
I am a parent all of the time and, of course, equally a wife and soul mate. But I am also a woman that has needs, too, outside of the satisfaction of caring for others. Yoga makes me feel like I do not get lost in the shuffle that is caring for a family full time.
So, what do you do to be you? What makes you feel like the best you that you can be?
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.