New Year’s resolutions are stupid…which is why I have one.

ImageIt feels extraordinarily strange to be sitting here listening to the tap, tap, tapping of the keys as I type this right now. Perhaps that is because I haven’t sat down to type anything longer than the Google Search bar in a long, loooooong time. So long, in fact, that I actually thought my account might very well have been deactivated. My nearly year-long blog…gone for a lack of love and inspiration.

Wait. Scratch that. That is a total lie. I was inspired plenty. Life is full of assholes to write about and Jp has become a tiny little (very different) man nearly overnight. I’ve had some epic fights with my husband, lost a friend or two (this IS me that we are talking about) and seen a few good movies. There has certainly been inspiration.

Just ZERO perspiration. Or whatever that old cliche was babbling about.

I haven’t been that busy. I only work part-time now and it’s a very manageable gig these days since my friend is full in the throes of Chemo and she prefers the quiet solitude of having the boys at my house (which I prefer so I can spoil them rotten with sugary treats and too much television like I do my own son). Yet I haven’t blogged in months.

I think part of it was the fact that my blog was getting (minorly, at best, but we all know how I like to exaggerate my own self-importance) bigger and I felt all of this pressure to make it better– more interesting, more thoughtfully edited, more everything. It felt like a chore. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up. I mean, I was still seething about Freshly Pressed never giving me the ol’ heads up and I just started to feel like I didn’t have squat that was left to say anymore. Nothing that I hadn’t touched on or babbled about and I didn’t want it to turn into a “diary blog” (which is what I call blogs where people talk about the monotony that is life constantly almost like they are writing a diary post. Seriously, I live the mundane DAILY. I don’t want to read about it, too, Right? Right? Only me?)

But the truth is…

ImageThere is no truth. No big “thing”; no grand epiphany. I didn’t have a good reason for leaving and even less for coming back. I can’t say that I won’t disappear for weeks on end, either. I make no promises. The only promise I CAN make is that I won’t be editing until my eyes bleed anymore…so I apologize in advance for the haphazard posts that would make every English professor that ever taught me cringe and weep.

I just thought that if I had to make a New Year’s resolution that it should be to do something (never quit something. I like my vices very much, thank you) more that I loved or that brought me a lot of happiness. Which, before I ruined it by over-thinking the whole thing, was blogging. I was proud of it, it made me feel smarter, more accomplished, and more connected to other grown-ups (mom thing, obviously).

So, here I am, again. I hope some of the original people that I came in with, followed, or kept in great touch with before I became a Super Flake Deluxe are still around. I’d love to hear from y’all.

And since I missed them….

Happy Halloween

Happy Thanksgiving

Merry Christmas

and

Happy New Year!

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Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

36 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Oh we’re just supposed to take you back with open arms then? Who cares if your blog doesn’t look a certain way? I don’t, that’s for sure. And I often right about daily bullshit!!! Booo you! But welcome back, even if only intermittently.

  2. Welcome back! I’ve taken a few breaks now and then for sanity and/or work…and we all need some breathing room every once in a while. Hope JP is blossoming, and I look forward to reading about your days every now and then!

      • My babies are growing and thriving. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, since my little man is torturing me by destroying my peace of mind, sanity, and all of the toys he can manage to throw…Sigh…he’s a boy I guess. Still pretty much non verbal, so at least I can’t tell if he’s chewing me out πŸ™‚ Little gal is growing and changing…rediscovered some genetic digestive hurdles we get to tackle again, but she’s trusting us through it all!

      • That’s awesome. And yes, boys are a pain! Jp breaks EVERYTHING! Then says, “Sorry mamma.” But it’s still broken! Aaaaaaah!

        I can’t wait to catch up on your blog and hear more about them. Have you been teaching little man sign?

      • Little man is doing his own signs, but I’m finally understanding the different ones. But it was SUPER neat…my girl was enrolled in PreK3 with my 4 year old niece. They had a joint b-day party, and some of the kids that came had developmental delays of their own. And it was SO COOL to see so many moms helping their kids and signing as they talked and helped them with games and cupcakes. All of the sudden, I fit IN with them all. Awesome moment to be in the midst of others that were going through the same things as me, and we all just fit in!

      • I know. Jp’s doing AMAZING but he’s still quirky. And still has his struggles. But in speech the same women go at the same time as me and all of them have pdd-nos or grey area kids ages 2-12. I call it “the hen house”. It’s heaven. It’s the only place that moms get all of the weird stuff I go through. πŸ˜‰ Feels great, right?

      • It was truly liberating…I was all concerned about my uber shy and non-talking birthday girl, and my less than conversationalist little man. Then, I looked and saw that I wasn’t the only one worried about their kiddo, and then we just all stopped worrying. I don’t have access to large group therapy things except for the PreK3 activites, and we’ve only been in that since Nov., so I’m super excited about seeing more moms like me!

  3. Missed you, looked for posts often. Glad to see one! Haphazard posts are fine, do it for YOU and for the connections you have made at WP. I love your sarcastic humor. You are a great blogger, even if you have not been discovered yet by FP.

    • I’m over FP. I spent HOURS editing before and didn’t get it. I’m not going back to that. I can’t. Just don’t have the time anymore! πŸ˜‰

      But I do love the community and the product so I’m going back to the purest part…just free flow writing. FP be damned!

      Thank you!

  4. Hooray – you’re back! “Don’t worry about a thing…” no one care if your posts are perfectly edited. Crap, though, now you’ve got me thinking that I should start editing MY posts a little more. πŸ™‚ That is, if people actually do care about that sort of thing…do they? Anyway, glad you’re back!

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