Men…show some respect, already.

ImageAs women, we take a lot of shit from men about how long it takes us to get ready. Why do you take such long showers? Why did you just change clothes six times? No one cares what you look like!

Bullshit. I call total bullshit on all counts.

Look men, I know you can just use the same crap you just used to wash your gross man body to wash your hair and then finish up by putting two -maybe three- pieces of clothing on (gel if you are super “metro”) and bing, bang, boom you’re out the door. That’s not how it works for women. No, not at all. Not in the slightest. And who cares, you ask? Um…everyone. Women around us judge the living holy-pants off of us for our looks. Don’t believe me? Attend one girl’s night out and watch a group a women judge another friend’s mental stability by their appearance. “Did you see her last week? Lord, she hasn’t worn makeup in a month and her clothes didn’t match. I think she’s depressed. About what? I don’t know. But just look at her!”

ImageAnd, even as married women, a tiny part of our self esteem is bolstered by getting looks and attention from men that are not our husbands. Oh yeah, I said it. I said it and I meant it. I’m sorry, fellas, but, “My husband thinks I’m hot!”, is about as gratifying (or believable) as, “My mom thinks I’m cool!” Real fact. It’s not like we’d act on it…in fact, we’d likely slap a guy for asking for our number with our ring set on…but we’d go to bed with a smile on our face that night, that’s for certain.

Give us a break, though. Do you know how much work goes into being a semi-mediocre looking woman? Seriously? I mean, just above gross? Especially after 30. I’m an a-ight looking female. Certainly far from a dime piece (Google it, grandma and grandpa) but I work with what I have.

And that entails (just general maintenance– nothing fancy):

  • Plucking hair
  • Shaving hair (and I mean literally 70% of your body– not a few face patches)
  • Waxing hair
  • Dying hair
  • Hair cuts
  • Straitening/Curling hair

And that’s just hair! Wait, there’s more…

  • Makeup
  • Bras (If you don’t understand this one, ask a lady. She’ll tell you why these are so trying)
  • Lingerie
  • Tanning/tanners
  • Upkeep of nails
  • Upkeep of toes
  • Clothes that flatter
  • Bathing suits (kill me now)
  • Accesories
  • Purses
  • Shoes

And this is just on top of all of the stuff that you have to do, men. So, why does it take us so long to get ready? Mathematically speaking, because we have to shave 90% more of our body than you, wash (and condition) 75% more hair than you have, and then try to hide all of our flaws with clothes and makeup so that everyone BUT you thinks we’re worth banging.

Because, trust me, if they didn’t…you would eventually stop thinking so, too. So show us some respect, already. We have earned it. πŸ˜‰




Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

17 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Totally cracked me up. lol I’m not a high-maintenance woman by any stretch of the imagination, but I definitely agree with a number of these points. I’ve had coworkers ask me how it can possibly take me so long to get ready in the morning when “all” I do is pull my hair into a ponytail. Once, I responded by taking my hair out and showing them, in painstaking detail, exactly how difficult and time-consuming it actually is to get my hair up and straight, and then not F it all up while trying to get the elastic around it. They told me to cut my damn hair. lol

  2. haha, this is very funny. So many of my friends take ages to get ready, and to be honest I’ve never quite understood why, but I’d never question their methods! I’ve got my get ready in the morning routine down to 20 minutes from waking up to getting out the door (this includes food). And I particularly hate it when a guy asks me what kind of girl I am based on how long it takes me to get ready. It’s such a stupid stereotype and I usually come up with a sassy response πŸ˜›

    • Lol I could get ready in twenty…but only if my hair was already straightened, my outfit was picked out, and I knew where my shoes and keys were.

      This never happens. πŸ˜‰

      And guys that ask this question are testing you. Guys that test you are dicks. Move along. πŸ˜‰

      • Haha!! My mother never knows where her keys are either. I think I’m just a touch anal about making sure I know where they are :p

        Oh I do! I can see a test a mile off πŸ™‚

  3. I’ve given up or never started lots of these (hair cuts, straightening). I’ve instead immersed myself in taking eons to get dressed every day since I can’t lose this damn 2nd round of baby weight. Sigh.

    • Right? My husband takes twenty minutes to get ready for a WEDDING. Shower and all. Im still trying to get my pants to sit right in my boots after twenty minutes. πŸ˜‰

      And I’m medium maintenance. πŸ˜‰

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