Bullshit. I call total bullshit on all counts.
Look men, I know you can just use the same crap you just used to wash your gross man body to wash your hair and then finish up by putting two -maybe three- pieces of clothing on (gel if you are super “metro”) and bing, bang, boom you’re out the door. That’s not how it works for women. No, not at all. Not in the slightest. And who cares, you ask? Um…everyone. Women around us judge the living holy-pants off of us for our looks. Don’t believe me? Attend one girl’s night out and watch a group a women judge another friend’s mental stability by their appearance. “Did you see her last week? Lord, she hasn’t worn makeup in a month and her clothes didn’t match. I think she’s depressed. About what? I don’t know. But just look at her!”
And, even as married women, a tiny part of our self esteem is bolstered by getting looks and attention from men that are not our husbands. Oh yeah, I said it. I said it and I meant it. I’m sorry, fellas, but, “My husband thinks I’m hot!”, is about as gratifying (or believable) as, “My mom thinks I’m cool!” Real fact. It’s not like we’d act on it…in fact, we’d likely slap a guy for asking for our number with our ring set on…but we’d go to bed with a smile on our face that night, that’s for certain.
Give us a break, though. Do you know how much work goes into being a semi-mediocre looking woman? Seriously? I mean, just above gross? Especially after 30. I’m an a-ight looking female. Certainly far from a dime piece (Google it, grandma and grandpa) but I work with what I have.
And that entails (just general maintenance– nothing fancy):
- Plucking hair
- Shaving hair (and I mean literally 70% of your body– not a few face patches)
- Waxing hair
- Dying hair
- Hair cuts
- Straitening/Curling hair
And that’s just hair! Wait, there’s more…
- Bras (If you don’t understand this one, ask a lady. She’ll tell you why these are so trying)
- Upkeep of nails
- Upkeep of toes
- Clothes that flatter
- Bathing suits (kill me now)
And this is just on top of all of the stuff that you have to do, men. So, why does it take us so long to get ready? Mathematically speaking, because we have to shave 90% more of our body than you, wash (and condition) 75% more hair than you have, and then try to hide all of our flaws with clothes and makeup so that everyone BUT you thinks we’re worth banging.
Because, trust me, if they didn’t…you would eventually stop thinking so, too. So show us some respect, already. We have earned it. 😉
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.