I suggest that all mothers abandon their children….

Every so often, at least. No seriously, get away. At least for a few days. Move heaven and earth. Make it happen.

vacayWhat is so funny is that my husband and I recently watched a comedy special that had us both rolling on the floor laughing. It was by Tom Papa (who you may know as the Marriage Ref). In it he stated that it was hard to get all hot and bothered by your spouse after you have children because you become different people. His wife went from a sex object to the “Wash Your Hands Lady”. And he, subsequently, is the “Weather Man”. Who wants to bang the guy that tells you if it’s going to rain so you better bring an umbrella every day? Bummer.

How true is this in most every parent’s marriage, right? But think about it long and hard before you actually answer. Sure, the “fire” may still be there…but it’s not really the same, is it? It evolves, you evolve as people, and you evolve as a couple. It is a wonderful and integral part of growing up. But, after last week, I can also attest to the fact that it’s pretty awesome to go back to pre-baby you, too.

And by “pretty awesome” I mean a gift sent straight from the gods above.

I love being a mother (most days *wink*), I truly do. I am one of those annoying moms that spends most of her time discussing her child socially much to the chagrin of others. In fact, even on the mini-vacation, I spoke about Jp a ton. Certainly more than I should have. But there is something that is pretty magical about going from full-time-24-7-365-days-a-year-stay-at-home mom to….to…just a wife. A wife that doesn’t have to cut her husband’s story about his day short to yell at a child who had decided to whack the dogs with the new Light Saber he just got, a wife that doesn’t have to eat dinner while getting up to fetch everyone everything, and a wife that doesn’t look at her husband like the “Dad” that gave him the sugar at 8 o’clock when you specifically said no and now you’ll be up two extra hours (Grrrrr). Nope, none of those things.

vacay 2It was like jumping into our very own personal time machine and zipping back to a time when he still gave me butterflies when he strolled nonchalantly into a room. Back to a time that I would sneak glances at him and think, “How lucky am I? How lucky am I that this man loves me, too?”

It was sleeping in late and drinking too early. It was shopping, dinners, happy hours, and IKEA without sugaring Jp up for a crash first. It was doing what we wanted, when we wanted and not having to time an activity around someone’s schedule, mood, or inability to transition without Days of Our Lives-type drama. It was sex without the terrifying fear of being caught and scarring a tiny person for life. It was the most amazing two days that I have had in ages.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine NOT being a mother and a wife. I wouldn’t trade my comfortable life for all of the tea in China and all of the jewels in the English crown combined. And as I drug myself home on the last morning, hungover and exhausted, I knew any more than two days of that fun-time life may have just killed this old broad (and put us all in the poor house)….but I haven’t stopped kissing my husband for no reason since we got home.

Because those two days reminded me that while we may fight and bicker over all of the nonsense that life throws at us…that this man is the person, above all others, that I chose to spend my life with. He was the one guy that made me forget what I thought I knew about what I wanted to do with my life and built this amazing world with me.

So run, go discover yourself as a couple again. I highly recommend it.

Marriage Musings


Amber Perea View All →

I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.

8 Comments Leave a comment

  1. We did for our 10 year wedding anniversary and it was amazing. We went for a week and were definitely missing our mini-ions by the end, but reveled in finishing conversations, not having the check the clock and evaluate the time based on nap schedules and just doing whatever we wanted. I agree when the mom feels rested and filled up, she’s a better mom. And part of that is certainly connecting with your partner.

    • It’s so true. I don’t think we, as mothers, even realize how low our “tanks” are until we are crying into our hot tea about a wrinkled blouse. 🙂

      I begged my husband to promise we could do it every year. 🙂

  2. I’m so glad you had a great time *kinda knew you would;)* it is amazing how life can literally get in the way right? We actually joke how the best birth control is having a hard time putting the kids to bed and then feeling like we are emotionally wiped and worn out mentally after that we just need veg time. But at the same time i couldn’t believe how fast we slipped back into couple mode after being 2+1 then 2+2 for so long….definitely want to do a weekend again too. I find the odd “date night” is not enough….have to be away from house:)

    • Yeah, we have date nights, too…not the same! It was so much fun, you are so right. 🙂 And the couple part is crazy. I didn’t realize how far into parenthood we had slid until I realized I had almost forgotten he was my husband. 🙂

      • *nods head* one of the little things we noticed is that we could hold each other hands….so small but yet so big because we are usually holding the hands of one of our children or both. Its nice to re-discover the “little things” right?

  3. We’ve been working on that here. Honestly, this past year has been horrendous. My mom is coming in town this Saturday night and we’re going to get to go out like real people. On a SATURDAY NIGHT. And once I wean the boy? Oh yes. The kids will both be dumped at Oui Oui’s house for a sleepover.

    • Saturday night?! That’s wild! Lol We are lucky enough to be able to get out every few months or so for happy hours and whatnot but the sleepovers are where it’s at! SO FREAKING RELAXING!

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