Every so often, at least. No seriously, get away. At least for a few days. Move heaven and earth. Make it happen.
What is so funny is that my husband and I recently watched a comedy special that had us both rolling on the floor laughing. It was by Tom Papa (who you may know as the Marriage Ref). In it he stated that it was hard to get all hot and bothered by your spouse after you have children because you become different people. His wife went from a sex object to the “Wash Your Hands Lady”. And he, subsequently, is the “Weather Man”. Who wants to bang the guy that tells you if it’s going to rain so you better bring an umbrella every day? Bummer.
How true is this in most every parent’s marriage, right? But think about it long and hard before you actually answer. Sure, the “fire” may still be there…but it’s not really the same, is it? It evolves, you evolve as people, and you evolve as a couple. It is a wonderful and integral part of growing up. But, after last week, I can also attest to the fact that it’s pretty awesome to go back to pre-baby you, too.
And by “pretty awesome” I mean a gift sent straight from the gods above.
I love being a mother (most days *wink*), I truly do. I am one of those annoying moms that spends most of her time discussing her child socially much to the chagrin of others. In fact, even on the mini-vacation, I spoke about Jp a ton. Certainly more than I should have. But there is something that is pretty magical about going from full-time-24-7-365-days-a-year-stay-at-home mom to….to…just a wife. A wife that doesn’t have to cut her husband’s story about his day short to yell at a child who had decided to whack the dogs with the new Light Saber he just got, a wife that doesn’t have to eat dinner while getting up to fetch everyone everything, and a wife that doesn’t look at her husband like the “Dad” that gave him the sugar at 8 o’clock when you specifically said no and now you’ll be up two extra hours (Grrrrr). Nope, none of those things.
It was like jumping into our very own personal time machine and zipping back to a time when he still gave me butterflies when he strolled nonchalantly into a room. Back to a time that I would sneak glances at him and think, “How lucky am I? How lucky am I that this man loves me, too?”
It was sleeping in late and drinking too early. It was shopping, dinners, happy hours, and IKEA without sugaring Jp up for a crash first. It was doing what we wanted, when we wanted and not having to time an activity around someone’s schedule, mood, or inability to transition without Days of Our Lives-type drama. It was sex without the terrifying fear of being caught and scarring a tiny person for life. It was the most amazing two days that I have had in ages.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine NOT being a mother and a wife. I wouldn’t trade my comfortable life for all of the tea in China and all of the jewels in the English crown combined. And as I drug myself home on the last morning, hungover and exhausted, I knew any more than two days of that fun-time life may have just killed this old broad (and put us all in the poor house)….but I haven’t stopped kissing my husband for no reason since we got home.
Because those two days reminded me that while we may fight and bicker over all of the nonsense that life throws at us…that this man is the person, above all others, that I chose to spend my life with. He was the one guy that made me forget what I thought I knew about what I wanted to do with my life and built this amazing world with me.
So run, go discover yourself as a couple again. I highly recommend it.
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.