I always visibly roll my eyes when people whine that their 11 month old is turning one. “It’s going by too fast!”, they weep on Facebook, causing me to inadvertently look like a sullen teenager again as I read it. I’ve never -ever- understood it. Mostly, this is for the very personal and obvious reasons– for us, it has gone extremely slowly. Jp was a preemie before he ever even had speech and social delays. It’s been a lot of staring at milestone charts and waiting. Endless upon endless amounts of time spent waiting for him to “catch up” with his peers.
I genuinely cannot think of one thing that the kid did early.
So yeah, for us, it’s been trudging along at a snail’s pace since the beginning. The eye rolls aren’t always intentional and sometimes suppressed in mixed company, but they are there.
But today? Today is big day. Today is the day that we get Jp’s big BIG boy furniture. You know, the stuff he will probably turn into a teen before we replace. Goodbye little toddler bed in the shape of a race car, goodbye toddler toys and baby proofed furniture that wasn’t too high…hello big full-size pine bed with a door to a secret hiding spot underneath for the new and abounding imagination (and yes, I know I am going to freak out the first time I go in and can’t find him!), hello big boy desk for the upcoming school year, and hello huge dresser that may or may not have a fish tank by Christmas (if I can get the husband on board).
Today, for the first time, that mom with the tears welling up in her eyes because her baby is growing “too fast” is me.
He has been my “baby” far longer than any other mother is allowed. But now, now he is becoming a little boy. And we want to grow with him. We want to encourage the growth that he has fought so hard for. He has earned it, dammit!
But be still my poor mommy heart…I’m going to miss that baby boy.
I can get through set-up without crying, I swear!
I'm just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.