I saw this article today innocently displayed in my Facebook feed from the magazine, Parents. Now mind you, I actually “liked” the page when I was still pregnant and optimistic *snicker* that having a baby would make me into one of those moms that you see in the sitcoms. Well, I guess Roseanne is still appropriate, to be fair. Or the images in the glossy pages, at least, all smiles and attachment parenting with perfectly coiffed children in adorable rompers eating soy butter sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
And then sh!t got real. It got really real. And I don’t even pretend to understand those women anymore.
So, of course, mostly I ignore the constant updates in my reader for the more pressing news stories of In Touch Weekly (celebrities tanking their love lives and careers always cheer me up), today one stood out and caught my eye. The headline was, “Do you think parents should be required to dress ‘appropriately’ on school grounds?” (Which you can read here and vote)
Porque? Did I just read that correctly? So, again, I have see this for myself. Dress code for parents? Like, in the line to pick them up at school? Walking up to the office to get them for a dentist’s appointment? When? When would it EVER be appropriate to even make a comment on what a parent was wearing? I mean, unless they show up in a “Kiss me, I beat my kids” T-shirt or are still in platform stripper shoes, bustier, and glitter from the night before, there is just ZERO excuse for creating a dress code for parents.
I went on to read the short blurb about how it is proposed in a Florida school district to enforce a dress code disallowing (and I freaking quote, people) “short shorts, hair curlers, saggy pants, pajamas, and shower caps” (end quote). I may have a little bit of anarchist left in me from my impetuous youth or maybe it’s the flashbacks to high school days when I had to lift my arms for the principal to prove my shirt wasn’t too short or turn a band shirt inside out for “inappropriate content”…but I thought this entire concept was asinine. Utterly and horrible ridiculous on so many levels; my indignation literally knows no bounds.
First of all, I am an adult. A grown, tax-paying, and productive member of society– adult. And, with that being said, if I want to wear shorty shorts in 100+ degrees to pick my son up from school, I am going to do so, regardless of your opinion. If I absolutely need to I will certainly roll up on school grounds in my pajamas. What are you going to do? Ban me? Are you completely insane? I don’t even go to school here! *Exasperated sigh*
But that wasn’t even the icing on the “Are you effing serious?!” cake.
The icing was the atrocity that was the comment section. Here is where, from behind the safety of a computer, women -our fellow mothers in the trenches- were being so grossly judgmental that I wanted to vomit all over my second-day yoga pants with cake batter on them from last evening. Any one that knows me as a parent and as a blogger, knows that I hate nothing more than judge-y moms. I know that we all think we’re god’s gift to parenting (at least two days a week, right?) and that’s what makes us good moms. But everyone has their “stuff”. No mom has exactly the same priorities as another. We all have the moments in our parenting that make us feel good about ourselves…and that rarely coincides perfectly with another mother. This is how we are raising unique and interesting individuals. HAS NO ONE SEEN THE WALL?! Pink Floyd? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?
Judge not lest ye be judged or something like that. Or something about casting stones. It’s been awhile since mandatory Sunday school.
The point is, don’t judge people. Don’t judge moms. You have no idea what happened before she pulled up with her still-wet hair in curlers. You don’t know how someone is feeling, thinking, or what is going on in their lives. Maybe they just lost 100 pounds and feel like a million dollars in their short shorts. Maybe it’s laundry day and their washer just broke down. But most of all…who cares? Who cares what we wear as long as we love? As long as we play games? As long as we put our children first every single day for the REST OF OUR LIVES (boo to that “18 years” garbage. We all know that’s bull).
I don’t know about you but my child loves me no matter what I wear. And I certainly don’t feel like I have to change to appease those uptight moms in the comment section that seem to believe choice in clothing has any bearing on character. Shame on them. Shame on what that teaches our children about individuality and acceptance.
I, for one, want my son to grow up in a world where everything doesn’t have to be “presentable” all of the time. Moms cry and miss alarms and drive them to school in pajamas. Food gets burnt. Sometimes paper towels double as toilet paper. Life isn’t easy and most certainly isn’t anything resembling perfect.
Now, can we go back to school board meetings being about our children’s educations please? #Thankyouverymuch.
I’m just living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day.